My five year old grandson had to go to children's hospital today.  He was sick and my daughter was concerned as to it's seriousness. 

 I couldn't go with her as I have my final Chemo treatment Monday and we were afraid the exposure to the sick children could affect me and my compromised immune system.  My sister went and stayed with Noah and my daughter.

 When your children or grandchildren are sick your whole world stands still.  I brought out my rosary and I prayed.  I kept asking God to bring light and strength to my family.  There is so much we have to endure in todays world, I wonder how we sometimes continue to be so strong.  Of course I know my answer is God.  Noah is alright.  They think he has a virus and sent him home after being thorough with their testing.

 As grandparents we have to be there for our family.  I can't wait until Monday so I can resume my normal life again.  This has been a long and hard six months.  Time lost, we'll never regain. I've learned so much and I'm grateful my side effects have been minimal.  Although I have no eyebrows and no hair...and as mentioned no bad hair days..this I don't mind...

  I'll keep you posted about Noah...my precious youngest grandson.  Wishing you and your family the best.

 

Dorothy from grammology

remember to call your gram

grammology.com

 

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When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer December 21, I had no idea of the total effects if would have on my family, friends, and life in general. 

 I knew there would be a lot to do before my operation on January 18th however, I hadn't thought about my two youngest grandchildren Noah 4 and William 13.  How do you tell them what is in store for you during the next 6 months. 

If was easier for William, however, Noah was another story.  He didn't understand why he wouldn't be seeing his grandma as much.or why I'd have less energy.  When Noah visits it was always non stop whatever we could think of.  Play, walk, color..shop go to McDonalds.  Cuddle up on the couch and watch his favorite videos.  With 30 staples, and more I wouldn't be able to cuddle for awhile either. 

 Then the issue of loosing all my hair.  I had no idea how to explain that to Noah. 

 So I asked my daughter to bring him over, and I told her I'd be preparing him for the future.  He was so happy to see me, he wanted to jump into my arms although his mom had prepared him that wouldn't be alright with my surgery.  I believe God inspired me as to what to say to Noah.

I showed him my staples, he was alright as he realized his dog had just had staples and was doing great.  Then we spent at least an hour playing and talking when I told him there was one more thing.  I would be taking medicine to make be better which would have to take all of my hair. At first he was upset, then I explained we would be drawing pictures, laughing at my bald head and being glad the sickness was going away.  Somehow, someway, I'm not entirely sure all that I said.  Noah established comfort.  I was so relived, he'd seen me healthy before he would see me bald. 

With our faith our God, my family and friends we'll get through this journey.  it will probably be my hardest time in my life.  Although the rewards life.....are worth the effort.

 

When and if your ever sick, and are close to your grandchildren, prepare them for what will be happening to you.  Make it something they understand.  If you need help figuring out what to say, get professional and in some cases your minister or priest can help.

We're doing fine, Noah wonders when he can sleep over..this is a good thing.  Preparing is the best way to help your grandchildren or children through difficult times.

 

Life is filled with the unexpected..get ready.

 My best,

Dorothy from grammology

remember to call gram

www.grammology.com

 

 

 

 

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I read an interesting and sad post on a blog yesterday.  The women was going through divorce and she was lamenting how she'd been manipulated by her husband to keep her children away from her family.

She was angry and sad that so much time had passed and her kids and herself had been deprived of their love and attention. 

My advice as I so freely give it. You can't change what you've done..the past is the past.  However, you can  improve today and your future.  Make better the new cycle..   There is no perfect person on  this earth.  As we  journey through life we make many mistakes.  Our mission  learn from each other, and improve from your past.

As many of us know, a controlling, abusive husband, will often isolate his wife and children from family. This allows them more control and  instills fear and dependence on the husband.  I was  enlightened by her being able to break out of the pattern and empowered by her will to share her story.  Therefore making it better and easier for other women and children to see where she was and how she'd come out of the darkness into the light.

In my 61 years on this earth..there is no bond better then a  strong family connection.  You will find they are there day and night, whenever you ask.  Share the value of a family with your children.  Discuss your fears and thoughts with your family.  Build a healthy relationship together.  Talking about what you wish to accomplish in life and how you can help and support each other  Yes, family can sometimes be management intense.  However, the benefits of knowing you have a support system if you ever need it, far outweigh the times when you are required to help.  In addition, I've found helping someone you love can feel pretty darn good.

See if you know what I mean, offer to be there for someone in your family.  Even if they don't currently need anything.  Just let them know you love them and will help whenever needed. The good feeling you have may just surprise you..Good luck..just do it..

My best,
Dorothy from grammolgy
remember to call gram
http://grammology.com

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Even if you've only read some of my comments and not my blog www.grammology.com you already know my family is my treasure.  There isn't a day we don't speak to each other and try to get together at least weekly.

Every part of my life is  family and friends.  So the least I can say is we are all upset that I've just been told I have cancer back in my ovary.  It's the only darn thing left, from a hysterectomy I had in the 80's. Back then they left the ovary instead of taking it out.  Today I'd tell them take it all...

 Knowing what and how to tell my family was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. Hiding my fear was the hardest part.  It's taken me three days to be convinced I'm not going to die.  After all I just fought my first cancer battle in 05. Why is this any different.  I think it's where it is.  When you say Ovarian Cancer people get that look....

So what do you tell your family?  I told the truth, I have it, I'm worried and we'll go to the highest power.  (Prayer)  Tomorrow we are going to church together.  We'll pray and ask God to get us through this, make me well, and give me another 30years to love and enjoy my family.  January 18th is my surgery date and I'm working towards a positive attitude. Our family is strong and we 're there whenever needed. I'm hoping they'll keep my spirits up.

I'll keep you posted...

Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
http://grammology.com

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My grandson William will be 13 tomorrow.  Two big events, his birthday and turning 13.  And oh,  being a teen is so different today. So we're prepared and hopefully we'll keep a handle on his youth..

 Now that William is 13 and it's Christmas month we have to be sensitive to his day.  We want to make sure he knows this is a special  time for  him and not let the holidays steal his thunder.

Prepare his special dinner, (something he likes best) and make a cake.  Homemade is always better then buying one.  And if we surprise him, it's even better. 

So if you have a grandchild who has a birthday coming up this month, try to make a special effort to make your grandchild feel you remembered and want to say..Happy birthday, we love you.

Because Buffalo is buried under a foot of snow and roads are treacherous  this Sunday..grandma and grandpa..will have to do something special later in the week.  I made the call, told William I loved him.  (Grandpa called earlier) and we made arrangements to see him  alone on Saturday.  It'll be his special time with us. William and his grandparents. When  I  suggested we do this, I could sense he was happy we cared.  He said yes, and he'd be ready.

Kids need to know your there and will do special things for them.  Memories they will always have.  Consider the phone call, and make the effort if you can.  Loving and living...thats what kids, family, parents and grandparents are all about.  Happy birthday to everyone who has one this month....

My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram

http://gramology.com

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A friend of mine died this summer. She had barely passed 40. Blonde, bright, freckled, filled with love and perky to the extreme, it seemed impossible that some exceptionally rare disease could take her life in the span of one season. But as her husband and best friend said, ‘I always thought she was one in million. I was wrong; I guess more like one in 10 million.”

Her funeral was as she would have orchestrated it, although I don’t know that she would have imagined the church so overflowing with friends and family. Her children walked down the aisle with their dad. Well, one walked, the other was carried much like a quarterback protecting the prized ball, although a wriggling one at that. You could hear their father whispering softly, soothingly to them. And small sad chuckles from the rows who could actually hear the conversation. One whispered question from her son pierced my heart immediately. Pointing to the altar where his mother lay in peace, he asked, “What’s in the big box, Daddy?” His father, a man never at a loss for words, could not reply.

My friend’s husband gave a eulogy that you would never want anyone to have to say, but that we were all so privileged to hear. From our seats in our pews, we wrapped our arms around him and listened. A man stricken deeply by the much-too-early death of his young wife, but who still felt her love and friendship so alive in his soul, he could smile as he spoke TO her … not about her.

He told us things that those who knew her well already nodded along with. But for me, who knew her a long time but did not know much about this wonderful recent life she had created in Charleston, S.C., I learned things I never imagined. It was a glimpse into the happiness she had created for herself and those around her, and it was palpable. Her friends in the church literally credited her for the life they have been living, a life of “love, love, love” – my friend’s mantra.

Her husband spoke of his best friend … his wife … the mother of his children, with such raw emotions – love, truth, authenticity, loss, passion – but blessedly, no regrets. They had created a life that worked for them in all respects, and they reveled in living it to its fullest. He spoke of his wife as the sun that sent warmth on a cold day … as the stars that lit the darkness … as the anchor to which they held fast … as the beam that guided them. He laughed. He cried. He fell silent when emotions overtook his words. That spoke the loudest of all.

He spoke directly to their children with an urgent desperateness, trying to impart all that  their mother would have wanted them to know about her, all that HE wanted them to know about her… about the way she loved them, about what they would be missing — as if they had to hear, learn, memorize and remember all of her right then, before they left the church. He told their daughter that she had so much of her mother inside of her, and as he took a breath to steady his voice before continuing, his son piped up in his high-octave voice, “What about me?” Breaking the tension and sadness with a question of pure love and innocence and maybe just a hint of precociousness – a knack that was so much his mother that she could have been speaking through him to render such a moment for all of us.

We left the church looking like we had just been converted: tears streaming down our stunned but grinning faces, smiling at the stories and sweet moments shared.

Later that afternoon, there was a moment of sheer joy as a southern, sultry-voiced angel sang by her graveside: one of their best friends crooned Amazing Grace with a strength of sorrow and love that somehow made his wheelchair disappear and made us believe he could soar with the seraphs.

And then, it was a party. Completely befitting both my friend and her husband and their family and friends. She would have been the first to kick off her shoes and go running down the dock to jump in the river in her Sunday best and pearls. And that’s exactly what people started to do. Had she whispered in the ears of her girlfriends? Had she nudged the ribs of their husbands? Had the sun set in such a way as to bathe everyone in a warmth that demanded quenching? Had the stars begun to appear in a way that reminded everyone of the twinkle in her eyes? The reason, the timing, the impetus is a mystery, but within minutes, dozens of grown adults completely dressed – some still in their shoes and hats – leaped from the dock and splashed into the water at the River House, with laughter and tears and shouts to heaven, calling upon their dear young friend to see them, touch them, join them in spirit.

I believe she already had.

If you have experienced the loss of a friend or loved one, I would enjoy hearing from you on this topic. Please feel free to leave a comment. If you know a child who experienced loss or challenges, you may want to review our parent video, Against All Odds, from our award-winning television series. Thank you.

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I just wrote a post in the Surviving Your Teens community regarding the importance of a family dinner.  Previously there were a few readers who took my suggestion as a criticism and thought one more thing to schedule along with an already busy schedule would be impossible. 

Once again, this is not criticism. It's a  tradition, which can be rewarding to the family.  If it's been overlooked and can be reconsidered,  just try to do it.  Don't worry about how often, rather that your going to be able to have a family dinner and speak with each other, when there are no boundaries or time constants to worry about.  If you have to schedule the dinner at an odd time, do it.  Make it breakfast, or after the normal dinner time, do snacks and fancy drinks, like milk shakes and sodas.  Think of something that becomes a treat, leaving them with a wonderful memory.  Some kids don't even know what a soda is. 

And I wondered, what grandmas and grandpas thought about the family tradition of dinners especially during the holidays.  Do you look forward to them?  I'm hoping this is one of the traditions we can rekindle with our families.

My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your grandma

http://grammology.com

Take a look at the other article as well and please comment this is so important.....

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