One of my niece's is turning 17 in February--- and she still does not have her drivers license!!  That is amazing in itself, but what totally blows me away is the fact that she already has a car, and has put off getting her license!  My son is 14, and is already chomping at the bit to get his!

We live in a big city, and I think my niece just does not feel comfortable with all the traffic.  She says she doesn't need to drive because her friends drive her wherever she needs to go, but it is nerve wracking to get on the roads around here!  She is a fairly confident person in general, but I am glad she is holding out until she feels ready.  I'm sure she has gotten grief from her friends, but I'm proud of her for doing things her way!

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I heard the news last evening of the tragic fire at a beach house on the coast of North Carolina, killing 7 college students. I cannot imagine what their families are going through. These students were only in their later teens and early 20s….so young… so sad.

As a mom of 3 under the age of 13, I worry about various things happening to my children….is that a pimple or MRSA, what if my son gets hit by a car while riding his bike to school, what if he gets hit with a baseball in the chest at the precise moment between heart beats which can send him into cardiac arrest…..and on and on! I know these things are rare but I cannot help myself from worrying. And believe it or not, I think I am one of the more laid back parents I know!!

However, we have to let our kids go….teach them what we can when they are with us and then let them fly….you know, give them roots and wings. This horrid house fire is just a reminder of what we cannot protect them from. It could have happened to anyone and unfortunately it happened to them. I pray for the families of those young adults.

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I was visiting my nephew last week ... he's a well rounded kid who makes Bs and sometimes As -- could probably do better but hey, he's a 16 year old boy! He has an amazing attitude, is so sweet and calm ... he's talkative, funny, smart, sensitive -- anyway, he was telling me in a very off hand way how much pressure there is at school. He said, "You just can't believe how they talk at school. 'If you don't make A's you won't get into college. If you don't take AP classes you won't get into college. If you don't do a ton of community service you won't get into college. It's all about getting into college and it's really stressful." I asked him, "But logically you know you'll get into college, right?" He said Yeah,  but it's still really, really a stressful place to be. I hate this! High school should be about learning, yes -- but surely there's a joyful way to learn, at least some of the stuff! (Okay, calculus may never be joyful, at least to me!) But what are kids doing to themselves and each other? Who is behind this -- parents? Teachers? Kids? What are we going to do with such anxious kids? If the prize is always college, what are we missing in the teaching and learning?

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My best friend just returned from taking her son back to his college campus.  He's a sophomore this year and living in a house with three other boys.  The house they are living in is brand new, purpose-built for college students with four bedrooms and four bathrooms off a communal living room and kitchen.  Sounds pretty nice to me!  A room to yourself in college is a luxury and not to have to share a bathroom is almost unheard of!! 

My friend and her son loaded up a UHaul truck with the contents of his bedroom from home...rug, bed, desk, dresser and bedside table.  She bought him a new bedspread at Linens and Things and they thought he'd have a very nice room. 

Once they arrived at the house and saw what his friends had, things changed.  One boy's mom had bought them an Oriental rug for their living area and a very nice sofa.  Another's parent had gotten them a 50 inch flat screen TV (it had a slight flaw so someone was going to get rid of it)!  Two other boys had custom made furniture for their rooms....I am talking the kind of stuff nicer than most comfortable middle class families would have!!   They had high end bed spreads, matching window treatments, etc....

My friend and her son were stunned.  He set up his room and didn't say a word to his mother about it being inferior, but they certainly noticed.  It would be impossible not to.  My friend said she didn't sleep well that night, thinking and worrying that her son might feel inferior himself.  I assured her that her son's room was the typical college room, not the ones with the luxury upholstered headboards and high end sheets. 

What message are we sending our kids when we outfit a 19 year old's room like a New York City bachelor pad?   Are they doing it for themselves or for their sons?

 

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My dad has always had various insights from his life that he can pass on to my sister and me. One of the most important things that my dad has taught me is that you have to stay true to yourself and who you are. It’s important to have that confidence and be out going. For example, my parents and I were in the supermarket waiting in a tremendously long line to buy our various back to school items. My dad started to make fun of the guy in front of us, “Did you leave any food on the shelves for the other people?” The man was a little startled at first but when he saw the huge grin on my dad’s face he knew not to be offended. We talked with the guy and soon enough it was our turn to check out. What was probably twenty minutes felt like five because we were having a good time talking with the young man. As we were leaving the store my father turned to me and said “we have the power to make life interesting and meeting people is one of the ways to do it.” He has always insisted on the theory that when in doubt stick out your hand and introduce yourself.

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Going back to school is never an easy thing. When the final days of sleeping in and watching my favorite television show come to an end the blow can be quite shocking. There is no real way to fully prepare myself for the first day of school. On the first week of school I love it when my mom packs an extra snack for the car ride home. I’m so used to having lunch at 4 O’clock that I get so hungry after school. My mom also loves to talk about my day at school but sometimes, especially on the first week back, its hard to have the energy to talk about it. It helps me when my mom asks specific question that I can answer easily, that way she feels good that we talked and I don’t get annoyed or frustrated. Also the homework load can be grueling when going back to school. To help me my parents suggest that I do my homework at the dinning room table so that they can moderately monitor my work process with out nagging me about how long I spent or how hard I worked. This way they can see for themselves and only ask me questions if they think they need to. Over all going back to school is something I never look forward to and every little thing my parents do to cushion the blow really helps.

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Summer is a popular time for teens to go to concerts.  I have been to two so far and I'm going to two more this summer.  Its really exciting to watch all the bands with your friends.  These concerts have been a highlight of my summer.  It is a great experience that left me with so many memories.  However, some people go to concerts for the wrong reasons.  These include drinking, smoking, drugs, and others.  If you go to these concerts you must be careful not to get involved in those activities. 

My favorite concert this summer was OAR at Chastain Park.  So many of my friends went, and this made it an even better experience.  It was so much fun to be able to hang out with everybody while singing along to the band OAR. 

I'm so excited for the next concert I'm going over labor day.  A bunch of my friends are going and it should be so much fun!

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What is it about boys that makes girls not be able to eat and have butterflies in their stomach constantly? Is it their smile, their personality, their "manliness".... what is it?

For me, it's a boy I can spend hours to talking on the phone about anything. Someone who cares about me and asks how I REALLY am doing. Someone who can look into my eyes and I know they see me for me. Someone who will protect me.

But how can you tell the difference between just friends or "interested"? Last summer, I met this incredible guy and we dated for a while. It ended because he lived about an hour away but this summer we reconnected and I am lost in a handful of emotions. I'm not sure if I like him and the same emotions are coming back from last summer or if I'm just so used to having those emotions with him that there's nothing else to look at him as than someone I'm interested in.

However, there is a twist to it. He broke up with his girlfriend he dated about a month and a half ago and he clearly isn't interested in a relationship right now. I respect that completely. But, how do I know when its appropiate to take the next step?

Do I still care for him? Yes, more than anything. Do I like him as a boyfriend? Possibly. Does he like me? THAT IS THE QUESTION. Yesterday he came to my house with his brother and we spent from 4 in the afternoon to about 11:30 that night together hanging in my basement and going out to dinner at Cheesecake Factory. From my perspective, there was def. the "eye contact" that you know is flirting and I'm interested, but at the same time we have yet to tell each other how we really feel about each other. I don't want to be the one to make the next move, but I don't want to wait around forever not even completely knowing if he likes me. He is going to college at Georgia in the fall and I'm going to be a senior in high school. Should I wait?

 

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This past year I had a lot of stress with sports and school. At first I did not know of a good way to calm myself down. Some of my friends told me that working out was a good way relieve stress. Also if you play a musical instument, that is a really good way to calm yourself down. If you don't play a musical instrument, you can always listen to music. I play guitar or go for a run to try and clear my head. If those don't work I know people who do yoga and say it is very relaxing and a massage is always a great way to relieve stress. If you don't relieve your stress you can get very agitated and annoyed easily. When my friends are stressed I try to give them some space because I know that they have enough on their mind and don't need anything to build up their stress level. Don't get strung out over little things and try to take breaks from all the pressures in your life. Everyone should take time for themselves and relieve their stress.

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There is so much excitement and energy when it comes to senior year. I have been waiting to be a senior ever since I arrived at Marist in 7th grade! However, as the summer is starting to come to an end and the school year is drawing near, I have started to become quite anxious and nervous!

Being involved in theatre at Marist, the plays require so much of my time either being everyday practices from 4-6:30 or 6:30-9:30 along with practices on Sunday normally 4 hours long. Besides this I am taking 3 AP classes AND my family has season tickets to the Auburn and Vanderbilt football games that I LOVE to go to! But most importantly, I have to start filling out my applications for COLLEGE and browse around for possible scholarships. Along with all of this I am also  singing for Music Ministry, Emmaus leader, Eucharist Minister Board leader, Grade Level Coordinator, involved in Metonia, and Habitat for Humanity. The thought of all of this is alittle stressful!!! 

Thinking about all that I have coming up this year is so exciting and I know this year will be amazing but to help keep my stress level down I need to start getting some things out of the way now. It is only the 3rd week of July so I am going to start writing my college applications now, but along with that I have to finish my last 3 summer reading books.  I have quite a hectic couple months coming up, and that is why I am so anxious to start writing my college applications so I don't have that stress in the fall along with football games, school work, play practices, and of course, SENIORITIS!

Anyone who has graduated and had a crazy senior year, I would love some advice on how to keep up with everyday and not become stressed! Thanks!

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Anyone in the English speaking world knows now that Lindsay Lohan got arrested again for DUI and drug possession. And why does everyone know this? Because every news station from E!News to CNN has opted to give up-to-the-minute coverage of "celebutantes'" latest arrests and meltdowns instead of world news. But I am happy to see that lately there have been some news anchors that have flat out refused to cover the celebrity gossip. One anchor on CNN recently asked that the Lohan arrest story be taken off his teleprompter, and another MSNBC anchor tried to jokingly set fire to the latest updates of Paris Hilton's stint in jail. I admire this, because the attention the media gives to girls like this has gotten so out of hand.

My solution is to just throw them all in jail. Hehe.

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So many times in highschool people tell us exactly what we have to do to achieve our goals or get what we want. How to get into a great college, how to be the top player in the state, how to be popular, how to win a college scholarship. When they take over our dreams sometimes they aren't our dreams anymore. Some of us have goals that are sports related and we constantly get told by coaches exactly what we have to do to get those goals. We forget if we even really want those things or if they are right for us. I have had the experience of getting pressured into making choices, quitting other sports, and training year round for one sport. I love playing basketball more than anything, but it started to take over my life. I was letting other people tell me how to train and with who, when to play, what teams to play on, and I was starting not to enjoy it myself. I felt like I was playing for other people and that scared me. I am not quitting the sport that I love so much, but now I am taking control of how much a play, when I train, and who I play for. Its really up to me. I am going to be the one doing it. I have taken over and now its up to me to establish MY goals and decide what to chase after. Now ever one else can help me and show me how, but this time its mine.

I am not saying that we can't listen to our parents. They do usually know whats best for us, but I believe that if you tell them what you truly want, they will listen. All I want to say is do what YOU want to do. Don't let anyone else pressure you into descions regarding your future. Wheather you want to try out for the play, or start a club, make sure its what you want to do. You are never going to have fun if you always do what other people want you to do. Don't stop yourself from doing something just because it will shock people or no one thinks you can do it. Take control of your life, decide exactly what YOU want and then go out there and get it. Coaches, trainers, parents, and friends can help you along the way, but make sure its  YOUR dream that they are helping you chase down, not theirs.

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There was a time when I was always annoyed by my parents and never wanted to be at home (I'm sure that teens can relate!).  My parents imposed a strict cerfew on me, and they sometimes wouldn't let me hang out with my friends or go to certain parties.  But last summer when I found out that my friend's father allowed her to smoke pot in the house, I knew I was lucky.  First, I was really shocked, but then it allowed me to step back and put my life in perspective.  My dad always told me that he was imposing these rules because he loved me so much.  I always rolled my eyes at him and told him that if he loved me, he would let me come home later, and it was such a rediculous rule.  I was one of the good kids who didn't drink alcohol, smoke, or party.  I had friends that would go home drunk or sneak out of the house, and they wouldn't get in trouble.  I got in trouble if I was 10 minutes late for curfew.  It just wasn't fair!

As much as I wanted to get away last summer, this summer I've enjoyed being home and spending time with my family.  My brother and I have been going to the movies; my Mom and I go shopping, exercising, to movies, or out to eat, and my Dad teaches me about marketing, takes me SCUBA diving, and to the movies.  My family goes on family walks, has family dinners, goes to Church, and watches shows together.  A few weeks ago, we were all in the kitchen and everyone kind of just stopped what they were doing and started talking to each other.   I sat back and thought, 'I wonder how many other families would be doing this.'  My dad always makes us laugh and we just enjoy each other's company.  My parents have ALWAYS supported me in everything I do, whether my dad allows me to do cheerleading, they come cheer for me at my half marathon and triathlons, help pay for me to attend Vanderbilt, or encourage me to be an entrepenur.  My mom went to every cheerleading competition I had, and always came to the football games at school.  She would come all day for a two and a half minute routine!  When I'm stressed out before a race or competition, I might not be the nicest person, but she puts up with me and comes anyway.  It's wonderful to have my own cheering section that will never fade!  Even though we've been through a lot of rough times, I love my family and am so glad that I'm a part of it.  I hope that my kids will grow up in a family like mine!

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