Ask a Question. Any Question!

Archives

• Current Questions
• December 2008
• November 2008
• October 2008
• September 2008
• August 2008
• July 2008
• June 2008
• April 2008
• March 2008
• February 2008
• January 2008
• December 2007
• November 2007
• October 2007
• September 2007
• August 2007
• July 2007
• June 2007
• May 2007
• April 2007
• March 2007
• February 2007
• January 2007
• December 2006

Search:

Ask a Question. Any Question!

Do you have a question about parenting? Ask it here! Click the box on the left to get started. One of the hundreds of other parents in the community - or a Connect With Kids staffer - will answer your question. Don't need advice, but prefer to give it? Then come back here often, to post a response to a question that someone else asked. Click Here to Ask a Question

<< Prev | All Questions | Next >>

16 yr old girl

Posted by: Sherice Andersen on May 5, 2007 at 4:19PM EST

I have run out of ideas of what to do, my daughter is 16 about a year ago we moved to Tooele Ut. Since we have moved here my 16 yr old will not even try to make friends or socialize, all she wants to do is move back to Salt Lake. All I hear is how I have ruined her life and she is the mother of my 9 yr old since she watches her when I am at work, I have offered to take her to stay with her old friends but she refuses and then she gets mad at me when I go out and tells me that I need to be home at a certain time.....She has gotten where she has caused so much hostility and tension in the house the my 17 yr old moved out and my 9 yr old would rather live with her dad and I would rather be any where but here...She is alwasy angry and tells me it is me and my fault I just do not know what to do does someone have some idea or help?

(6) Answers

Posted by: Chandler DeWitt on June 13, 2007 1:12PM EST

My parents moved me when I was younger and I had a really hard time adjusting and making friends. It is hard and she may just need some time to adjust. I would give her some ideas to get involved and meet new people, or maybe try counseling. It sounds like she has a lot of anger and maybe she needs to work through her feelings. Don't give up on her, you are the one person that she needs even if she doesn't show it. I am a teen and sometimes I act like my mom gets on my nerves, or makes me mad, but she is the one person that I can always count on and your daughter needs you. Good Luck!

Posted by: BethJ007 on May 16, 2007 11:12AM EST

I'm in college, and when I was in 8th grade my parents moved and I absolutely hated it. I got through it- it just took some time and adjusting. Maybe you should try bringing in an objective third party- like going to counceling or something. Sometimes it's good to get a fresh perspective. Good luck!

Posted by: juff on May 15, 2007 8:51AM EST

It definitely sounds like the home environment has become stressful. Can you arrange for your 9 year old to go to some friends houses during the week so your 16 year old doesn't feel like the mother? I agree with the others in that you need to try help your daughter find some positive friendships. Call some mom's of girls in her class and try to work out some social times for the girls. Good Luck!

Posted by: evie on May 9, 2007 11:17PM EST

I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR DAUGHTER. ITS NOT AN EASY TRANSITION. YOU ARE THE ADULT AND THE ONE IN CHARGE. TRY TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE NEEDS AND NOT SO MUCH OF WHAT SHE WANTS. OPEN UP WITH HER MORE AND SHARE THINGS WITH HER ABOUT YOU (appropriate) AND MAYBE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING COULD DEVELOPE. TIME AND PATIENCE IS BEST WHEN WE NEED IT MOST.

Posted by: Daisy on May 9, 2007 10:11AM EST

I agree with Sadie, perhaps it's going to be up to you to facilitate things with some of the other girls moms. Have you tried talking to the guidance counselor at her school, to see if she could offer any suggestions about getting your daughter involved with the other kids.
Good luck I do know how hard it is having a teenager.

Posted by: Sadie on May 7, 2007 10:28AM EST

Don't give up on her. Remember who the adult is and try to help her with this transition. Would it be appropriate to meet some of the other moms with girls and find some way to get them together? Your daughter seems angry about the move and that is to be expected from a 16 year old. It might take some time before she feels comfortable and makes some new friends. Let her know that you know it is hard and that you are there for her if she needs to talk. Hopefully, things will get better with time.