Ask a Question. Any Question!

Archives

• Current Questions
• December 2008
• November 2008
• October 2008
• September 2008
• August 2008
• July 2008
• June 2008
• April 2008
• March 2008
• February 2008
• January 2008
• December 2007
• November 2007
• October 2007
• September 2007
• August 2007
• July 2007
• June 2007
• May 2007
• April 2007
• March 2007
• February 2007
• January 2007
• December 2006

Search:

Ask a Question. Any Question!

Do you have a question about parenting? Ask it here! Click the box on the left to get started. One of the hundreds of other parents in the community - or a Connect With Kids staffer - will answer your question. Don't need advice, but prefer to give it? Then come back here often, to post a response to a question that someone else asked. Click Here to Ask a Question

<< Prev | All Questions | Next >>

8th grade girls

Posted by: peewee on October 21, 2007 at 9:48PM EST

My 13 yr old has friends that treat her badly. She wants everyone to be her friend. She came to me the other night and said one of her friends was asking her for gum, and when she doesn't have any this one girl goes through her locker for her. This girl also kicks her in the back during choir class until she yells at her to stop. My daughter then gets in trouble in class. She asked me not to say anything that she would take care of it, she doesn't want any trouble. I told the counselor at her school, but asked him just to watch and if he sees anything then interfere, but not before. I would like her to tell him herself but she won't . Did I do the right thing? I was always pushed around to and I dont want my kids to feel like me.

(3) Answers

Posted by: Daisy on October 24, 2007 9:53AM EST

I think you did the right thing, you have to "protect " your daughter. If it doesn't get any better perhaps the school counselor can have a little small group session, (where noone is singled out directly), but he can facilitate it towards the topic of friendship, bullying, or respect for others.
They do that in my daughters school usually during lunch, it think it helps.

Posted by: sj on October 22, 2007 11:58AM EST

It's sad how badly girls can treat each other. And you can intervene some now, but she is going to have to learn to set some boundaries and stand up for herself soon. Ask her if she would treat other people the way these girls treat her--- and then ask her why she feels it's okay for them to treat her badly. You really can't change other people's behavior, you can only change your own. She may think that being friends with everyone is good, but as you found out, being friends with yourself is more important.

Posted by: Lily on October 22, 2007 9:32AM EST

I think you did the right thing! We are our children's advocates and she is only 13. I think it's expecting a lot if you think she'll tell the counselor herself. All you did was give the counselor a heads up and he'll keep an eye on her. My daughter has a "friend" at school who says really negative things to her. She'll carry a purse that she loves and ask this girl what she thinks and gets a "it's hideous" as a reply. I told her to quit asking the girl for her opinion and not to let her determine how my daughter feels about herself. These kids don't think we know anything or can relate at all. For that reason I find it helpful to tell stories about when I was younger and shunned by someone. This makes an impression on my daughter.