where do I begin? my son is 13yr old, has ADHD and ODD, he is a smart boy BUT very disrespectful and very defiant. I have been divorced since he was 4yrs old, but engaged now to be married, HOWEVER, my son is very disrespectful to me and my fiance' no matter how nice or how hard we are on him.

I do not know what else to do, I have told him....military school....well, we can not afford that. I have told him his dad, BUT i really wouldnt want that either, his dad lets him have everything and do anything. You know its easy to let him do what he wants then to DISCIPLINE him. I also know if I do this, I will lose him forever.

But I worry, that I will lose my fiance forever as well. And at 18, my son will be gone, I feel. My own parents raised 4 of us, and we were and are nothing like him, they dont even know what to suggest.

I have had him on medication from 7-12yrs, stopped for a while, he is now back on meds, they help for school work, but not w/attitude at home.

Says he's always kidding or he didnt mean it like that. Has an anger issue.

Any suggestions would be of help.