Internet Monitoriing & Gay Web Sites
Posted by:
Moderator on
March 1, 2007 at
1:27PM EST
One of the major points you make for parents is to monitor their children's computer use. While this is certainly good advice, I can't help but think of the problem that parental monitoring causes for gay teens for whom the internet may be either the largest outlet or the sole outlet through which they can interact with only gay teens.
Could you share with me what advice you give to parents who suspect their children are gay? Could you tell me what advice you give to monitoring parents who find gay web sites among the places their children visit?
(3) Answers
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In my opinion, the internet should not be your child's sole source of contact with other gay teens. If your child is gay, there are several outlets outside the realm of the internet that your child can get involved with. I know here in Atlanta there's an organization called Youth Pride that creates a safe place for gay teens to join together and socialize outside of school. I'd imagine there are probably organizations just like this one in most major cities.
Also, check to see if your teen's school has a gay club. There is quite a movement inside of many schools to embrace gay teens and provide a safe haven for them. To my knowledge, there are no studies that show how valuable relationships are on the internet compared to in person, but I can't imagine keeping a huge part of who you are confined to the computer being that healthy.
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Posted by: Anonymous on March 7, 2007 10:46AM EST
For teenage children, exploration of one’s sexuality necessarily requires moving out of the immediate practices and customs of one’s immediate family. This does not mean children abandon their family’s values and customs. But obviously, all people pursue knowledge about our sexual development outside of our siblings and parents. In this sense the Internet and Web sites that contain content relevant to this discussion are no different than other non-virtual environments. Striking a balance between a healthy exploration of sexuality and conforming to the norms established in a family will always be a challenge for parents. Regardless of a child’s perceived sexual preference this is a critical role for parents and I am always amazed and humbled by how dutifully and successfully most are in this endeavor.
Parents of gay teens must understand there are significant pressures on their children as they explore a less prevalent sexuality but the norms and customs of your family are consistent- gay or straight. The Internet may offer a freer forum for children to explore their feelings without the fear of negative consequences from the larger peer group but parents must continue to strike that balance between healthy exploration and respect for values that they hold important. Monitor the sites. When something is inappropriate unapologetically point this out to your teen. Make certain you are clear as to why you feel it inappropriate. My parents would never tolerate pornography (gay or straight) in our house and my siblings don’t allow it online with their children.
Of course, my response is predicated on the assumption a parent is comfortable with their child’s exploration of homosexuality. If this is not the case my response may raise other questions.
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Posted by: Daisy on March 7, 2007 10:06AM EST
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