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mom overwhelmed

Posted by: Donna on December 29, 2007 at 10:45AM EST

where do I begin? my son is 13yr old, has ADHD and ODD, he is a smart boy BUT very disrespectful and very defiant. I have been divorced since he was 4yrs old, but engaged now to be married, HOWEVER, my son is very disrespectful to me and my fiance' no matter how nice or how hard we are on him.

I do not know what else to do, I have told him....military school....well, we can not afford that. I have told him his dad, BUT i really wouldnt want that either, his dad lets him have everything and do anything. You know its easy to let him do what he wants then to DISCIPLINE him. I also know if I do this, I will lose him forever.

But I worry, that I will lose my fiance forever as well. And at 18, my son will be gone, I feel. My own parents raised 4 of us, and we were and are nothing like him, they dont even know what to suggest.

I have had him on medication from 7-12yrs, stopped for a while, he is now back on meds, they help for school work, but not w/attitude at home.

Says he's always kidding or he didnt mean it like that. Has an anger issue.

Any suggestions would be of help.

(2) Answers

Posted by: Maribel Carrillo on January 10, 2008 12:02PM EST

HI, do you know what his forté is? He has to love one thing that he can concentrate on please read this on Ty Pennington. I hope it helps. http://www.adderallxr.com/ty/ty_story/

Posted by: sj on December 31, 2007 10:18AM EST

I can only imagine that this is a tough time for you. My son is 15, and is basically a good kid, but when they start going through puberty, their attitude and personalities do change. Part of it is the process of breaking away from their parents, and you have to tolerate it some, but you can't let it become blatent disrespect. I think that threatening him with things that he knows you won't follow through on (military school, sending him to his dad's) only makes the problem worse. Maybe there is a school or church counselor that you can talk to. He may feel like he is losing you to this man you are going to marry, but doesn't want you to know he is scared or hurting. The two of you must be able to communicate, and it may take some outside help for that to happen. Don't give up!