Mourning the loss of a pet
Posted by:
Sue F. on
January 21, 2008 at
10:45PM EST
Our dog died today. The worst part is my son was off school for MLK Day so he was home alone with the dog when he died. The dog had been sick (the vet thinks he got into some anti-freeze somewhere) and almost died a week and a half ago. He stayed on IV fluids at the vet for five days and came home basically as good as new. We had a wonderful weekend with him, spoiled him rotten and made a big deal over him. Then Sunday night he didn't come home and we couldn't find him anywhere. My husband found him this morning at the end of our road. We both had no choice but to go to work so we left him at home with the intention of taking him back to the vet this afternoon. My son called me about two hours before I left work begging me to come home, but I couldn't leave. Then an hour before I was to get off work, he called to say the dog had died. I feel like the worst mother ever. I always tell my son "call me if you need me". And he called me and I couldn't do anything about it. I explained to him that if he or a family member had been sick, my boss would have understood my leaving work. But that my boss would not have allowed me to leave work for a dog (even though we considered this dog to be a member of our family). I can't get the image of my son witnessing his dog's death out of my mind. I know I need to try to talk to him some more, but I can't stop crying. I need help with how to handle this. What is the perfect thing to say? A mother is supposed to always know exactly what to say and I have no idea. It's heartbreaking.
(1) Answers
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Posted by: sj on January 22, 2008 11:42AM EST
Help him to open up by just talking about your dogs' life, and what a great pet he was, and funny things he did. Your son may bring up how hard it was to be there when he died. Let him know that his being there was a gift to his beloved pet, and he was brave to see him through his last moments. Don't talk badly about yourself for not being there. You can't change that circumstance. Just be supportive of his emotions.
I had a very tough conversation with my daughter last night about why her dad and I got divorced. I know what it's like to be at a loss for words, and to feel like you have let your child down in a big way. Sometimes you don't have the perfect answer, you are just honest in your humaness, and speak with love.
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