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Need Help With an Explanation

Posted by: Moderator on January 16, 2007 at 10:16AM EST

I need help with a difficult situation and how to explain it to my 8-year-old daughter....

While my neighbor and his wife were separated, he was dating another woman who became pregnant. Now the baby is born, living in the neighbor’s house with the husband as roommates. (The father is trying to do the right thing by his new son.) My daughter doesn't know anything about the other woman and doesn't know she is living there with the baby. The family's 8-year-old son announced this morning that he has a new baby brother. My daughter asked if his mom had a baby and he said no his dad did. How do I begin to explain this all to her? She doesn't know how babies are made. All she knows is that Mommy's and Daddy's love each other so much that God gives them a baby. She does know the baby comes out of the mommy. Is it time to tell her the whole story? And how do I even begin to explain the neighbor's situation?

Any help would be very appreciated.

(2) Answers

Posted by: sj on January 31, 2007 10:25AM EST

I have to say, we have had some strange situations in our extended family, with single parenting, adoptions, divorces, etc. And the kids don't care! You tell them the basic facts, let them ask questions and try not to put a negative spin on the situation. Kids are usually more open-minded than adults. As the kids get older, they will want to know more information, but they are ready for it then. If you let her know that you are willing to talk about things instead of skirting the issue, it will serve you well later when she is a teen and you want her to talk about things with you!

Posted by: Daisy on January 16, 2007 11:18AM EST

While 8 is young to have to get into the entire explanation with her, I probably would be honest with your daughter and explain it to her. Especially if her friend is excited to talk about his new baby brother. Chances are she won't understand the "whole" situation anyway.