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Password for emails and Myspace

Posted by: momof3 on February 8, 2007 at 2:39PM EST

I am trying to get my 14 yr daughter's myspace password and she said we are invading her privacy. I told her I will not use it unless I feel I have to. She does not trust her stepdad and says that he just wants to control everything she does.

My husband grounded her from cell phone, which I like her having so I can get in touch with her, home phone and computer. He thinks that if she can give up her password, then she loses all privledges.

Help what do I do. My daughter hates me and says that I am the mother of her and I should say what goes, my husband is mad a me for telling him that she should just be grounded from computer and not phones. He does not care and thinks that she does not need it. I trully believe he hates her.

(4) Answers

Posted by: Kathy on March 15, 2007 12:03PM EST

Absolutely you should have her password. In the Connect with Kids site there is an article you need to read "Kids Keep Secrets" Go into the forum and click on "Surviving My Teen". I think this will help make your decision. Also your daughter doesn't hate you, nor does your husband hate your daughter. This is not a time in life to be their friend. They need parents on the same page. The hating thing will pass. Good luck!

Posted by: Daisy on March 7, 2007 9:33AM EST

I think you should absolutely have your kids passwords for their my space and facebook accounts. Not only are you being a responsible parent...you pay the bills. Your husband and you have to present a united front on discipline. I have to wonder when you say he doesn't like your daughter, obviously his parenting style is more strict than yours, and did you not address this before you got married?

Posted by: Shelly on February 11, 2007 3:29PM EST

I would have to agree that it is in her best interest for you to have her password. I have not yet allowed my boys (ages 13 and 14) to have a my space account and they simply try to have their friends do it for them. I have told them if they are willing to share passwords and will not give me a hard time for checking up on them ... then I am okay with it (though I really HATE the whole my space thing) then I would allow it ... but the first time I cannot access their account of I see something inappropriate ... that's it ... my space is gone. There is simply way too much danger out there for girls AND boys of all ages and these kids just don't realize it. The stepparent thing is something that may require a third-party to mediate the whole situation ... it doesn't sound good.

Posted by: sj on February 9, 2007 1:32PM EST

We have had many discussions here at work about the MySpace situation. It really is in her, and your best interest for you to have her password. If she knows you will be checking on what she's putting on the site, then she will be less likely to put anything questionable on it. The kids think it is just for their friends, but these sites are a public forum, and strangers can get access to their pages. She is still a minor and under your protection. There is a DVD from Connect With Kids called The Internet Generation that goes in-depth on this topic.
As for the stepdad-- you and he have to work through that. Everyone parents differently, but you have to present a solid front for the kids.