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Teens poor music choices, how to handle what your kids listen to?

Posted by: 2teenboys on April 11, 2007 at 10:05AM EST

I have 2 teen boys 14, and 15. Some of the music they listen to is just garbage, I mean the lyrics and words. For example one son likes this Slipknot group and its horrible, and the other son listens to some crappy rap. We only have 1 computer, its a laptop and it stays downstairs so we can monitor, but we can't every second. They can so quickly download music and I don't even know what it is. My husband and I are wanting to have them delete the crap that is on the ipods, just the bad stuff, but how do we control what they download?

Help anyone on how to handle this?

(8) Answers

Posted by: Emily on April 28, 2007 1:11AM EST

I'm so glad I found this web site.I've spent the whole day here researching slipnot,my 14 year old son has beem listening to it on our computer.I had no idea what it was like,but I caught up with it now and I plan on stopping it right here.Personally I think it is way too much for a teen to handle, it promotes violence,anger,rage,hate,need I go on.Good luck to you moms with this too.

Posted by: Matt Van Hoose on April 22, 2007 6:33AM EST

I know my parents tried to limit the music I listened to when I was kid....just made me want to listen to it more. It wasn't really the words or the beat or anything...just the shock value which over the past one hundred years just keeps getting worse and worse. If you look back Mozart was really provocative (for the time). Just take them to Graceland....get them hooked on Elvis...lol

Posted by: Deb Roby on April 20, 2007 11:47AM EST

Pardon me, but I wonder who is the boss here? If you have expressed what is and what is not allowed and why, then they should have to accept the limitations you place. Of course, first you have to place the limitations. My grown sons went through the same thing with me during their teens. After knowing I would not allow it in my home, on my computer, in my car, in their car, etc., I heard a tape in their car when I had to move it out of the driveway. I took the tape, pulled it apart, and gave it back. Turned out they borrowed it - oh, well. Their friend got the message also. You can't control or monitor 24-7 of course. If for nothing else, they need to respect how you feel and your rules and not just openly defy you. There is plenty of music out there with the beats they like and no profanity, rantings and negative messages. Buy them some. Play it for them. Consider Christian music for their generation.

Posted by: Lily on April 16, 2007 11:10AM EST

I find this topic very interesting. I know our grand parents thought the Beatles were offensive, but this just seems a little more serious than just long hair and hip gyrations! My 13 year old likes rap but not too hard core. He has promised to download only the clean versions onto his Ipod and so far I trust him. Occasionally I ask for his Ipod to listen in. This whole Don Imus situation might just cause the rap business to fall under great scrutiny....at least I hope that willb ethe case! Lily

Posted by: Ellie Griffey on April 12, 2007 10:28AM EST

Make sure you help them understand why you dont approve of their music picks. Ultimately if you help them value music with better lyrics and music with instramental merit and vocals....maybe they will pick better stuff on their own. Music is most often how you feel about life.

Posted by: Kathy on April 12, 2007 10:05AM EST

If you go to the "parenting tips" and type in teen music and click on page four you will find an article entitled "Offensive Lyrics "Parents Need to Listen". It suggest that parents need to really listen to the lyrics in order to make judgement and have an open discusion about it. I have a 18 and 20 year old and at this point what they listen to is out of my control. While your kids are still young expose them to music while driving in the car that is acceptable to you.

Posted by: sj on April 11, 2007 2:50PM EST

Hey-- you might try this website-- www.jeffdess.com. He is a prevention/intervention specialist and has written a book on this generations' music and its' effects on our kids. It may help give you some insight.

Posted by: Sadie on April 11, 2007 10:53AM EST

I feel your pain. My daughter likes rap and we constantly tell her that most of it is inappropriate and degrades women. My son, thankfully, likes alot of the music we listened to as teens. I believe you can set parental controls on your computer to keep your kids from accessing Itunes without your permission. Good luck and keep some headphones handy!