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What do I tell them
Posted by: Denise Rosemon on January 7, 2007 at 1:27PM EST
I am a single mother of 2 children ages 11 and 5.  Both children have the same father.  My children have not seen their father since my daughter was 4 months old. Recently, my daughter has been asking questions regarding her father (my son doesn't ask any questions about him).  Since it's been well over four years since we've had any contact with him and I know for sure he is not coming around again, I need to know what to tell them.  Is there anyone who is in a similar situation?  I would like to tell them that he died.  This way they don't have to wonder why he doesn't "love" them or why he doesn't come around.
(2) Answers
Posted by: Emily Halevy on January 12, 2007 12:31PM EST
Hi Denise- I've found honesty is always best. My relationship with my father has always been problematic, but it's been my mother's honesty and compassion that's helped me deal with it. Chances are, as your kids grow up, they'll learn the truth and be hurt even more because of your dishonesty. If I were you, I would tell them an age appropriate version of the truth. As they grow older they'll be able to better understand why he's not there, know that it wasn't their fault, and most importantly, know that they can always trust you.

Posted by: Daisy on January 10, 2007 11:03AM EST
Hi Denise,
That's a hard question. I think I would want to know first if you know where their father is? And what are the circumstances as to why he doesn't visit or take an interest in the kids .
Daisy

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