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What do you do when a registered sex offender moves into your neighborhood?
Posted by:
Sue F. on
June 16, 2007 at
11:29AM EST
I'm dismayed to find out that a registered sex offender has moved into my neighborhood. All of the parents are up in arms (and rightly so in my opinion). My main concern is that although I know the age of the victim (which is the same age as my son), I don't know the gender of the victim. Since I only have a boy, I would be slightly less concerned if I knew the victim was female. Along the same lines, I would be more alarmed to find out the victim had been male. However, I cannot get this information. I think my local sheriff's department would have given it to me, but this offender moved in from another state and the local authorities don't know the details of his offense. I contacted the State Police because they are the ones who listed this offender on their website and was informed that by law they were not allowed to tell me the sex of the victim. How have others handled this situation? Does anyone know how I can find out the gender of this victim? As I said, I simply want to know for my own peace of mind.
(9) Answers
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Posted by: Sadie on June 19, 2007 11:37AM EST
Sue, I am on your side. It would make me uncomfortable to know that a registered sex offender was living in my neighborhood. I think we not only need to educate our children but also know when a potential threat is nearby. Your post has activated some interesting discussion and I appreciate learning more about this issue.
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Posted by: Daisy on June 18, 2007 10:29AM EST
Sue, I would certainly make the offender know that I am aware of the situation and keeping an eye out . You CANNOT be to careful. Daisy
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Posted by: Krisi on June 18, 2007 2:25AM EST
I would be very cautious regardless of the sex of the victim. A pervert doesn't neccessarily care wit whom, or what he / she gets their sick thrills from. I would not be more lax if you happen to find out the previous victim was a female!
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Posted by: ZMan on June 17, 2007 5:38PM EST
What state are you in? What is the guy/gals name so I can check them out on the registry?
Did it say Child Molestation? Keep in mind, there is also people labeled a child molester who are falsely accused (believe it or not), who did not even touch a child.
Check this out, you'll be shocked:
http://sexoffender...
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Posted by: ZMan on June 17, 2007 5:35PM EST
BTW, not all sex offenders, even if they live next door, are a threat. You need to check the guy out on the registry, and possibly go over and introduce yourself, so he is aware you know about him. I don't know who it is, but if they are not a Tier III they are probably not much of a threat, but like I said, I do not know the guy/gal.
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Posted by: ZMan on June 17, 2007 5:33PM EST
No, I was just posting how I feel about the SO laws in general. Your article did not do much for me, I was just spreading some truth, for once. :)
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Posted by: Sue F. on June 17, 2007 3:42PM EST
Wow, ZMan, it seems like I touched a nerve with you. Well, multiply everything you felt while reading my post by about a thousand and you might feel a fraction of the alarm and anger I felt when seeing this sex offender registered in my neighborhood.
I agree with you totally that it is nonsense to have people listed as sex offenders who were simply urinating in public or something along those lines and my heart goes out to them for being humiliated in such a way. However, based on the limited amount of information I was "allowed by law" to learn on this registry, this offender had committed a crime against a child. Unless he urinated in public in front of his 13-year old victim, I have to believe it was something of a sexual nature. As a parent, I can't err on the side of fairness toward this individual. I have to assume this is a true sexual offender and my child is at risk.
I know there are two sides to every story and actually am living on both sides of this story. I have a family member who is currently incarcerated for sex crimes against a child. Believe me, I wouldn't want him living next door to me or anyone else's child and wholeheartedly support the registry as a means to warn anyone and everyone of his presense once he is released.
As far as the families of these offenders go, the damage has been done. All of the extended family of my incarcerated family member have been affected by his actions. This is something he did of his own free will to his family. The public did not do this to his family, he did.
I don't understand the ranting you do in your post about "violent offenders". Do you truly believe that a child would only be affected by a violent act perpetrated by an offender? Can you not imagine the psychological and emotional scars a child can carry from even one instance of molestation, whether violent or not? You have to put yourself in the place of the child in this instance. I'm not willing to risk having my child carry any scars from an offender, whether they be physical or psychological.
You must not be a parent or you would understand the fierce protectiveness we feel toward our children. I have been given this gift from God to watch over and protect and I take that responsibility very seriously. And if they had a registry listing drug dealers, murders, etc., you can bet I would be checking those out as well.
Bob, I would like to address some of your statements also. I agree with you totally that we should be teaching our children about strangers and bad touch and all of those things and I have been doing so since my son was preschool age. I initiate an updated age-appropriate version of this talk whenever things come up in the press (such as when the 13-year old boy in Missouri was kidnapped after getting off the school bus recently) or when a life change occurs (such as entering a new day care, going away to camp, having a teacher who takes a little bit too much interest in him, etc.) and will continue to do so. That is why I appreciate the registry in that I was able to print out this person's profile and show my son his photo so he can be aware that this person is around and may one day approach him (whether innocently or with bad intent). We need to have as much information as possible in order to give our children the means to protect themselves when we are not there to do so for them.
I agree that children are more at risk from family members or people they already know. However, if someone moves into my neighborhood and befriends my child, then that becomes someone he knows. Do you understand? We are fortunate enough to live in an area where the kids ride their bikes and walk freely around the neighboor and meet people along the way. If they meet this newcomer without knowing his background, they may very well befriend him and put themselves in harm's way.
I hope I didn't give you the impression that we are taking up arms and descending upon this man with blazing torches when I made the comment about the parents in the neighborhood being up in arms. No one would approach this person or do anything inappropriate toward him unless given a reason to. But amongst ourselves we are all angry and upset at the risk that having this person in our neighborhood could pose. Notice that I said "could pose". I'm not saying he's going to run amok and molest all of our children. I'm saying that he poses a potential threat to their well-being and as a parent that alarms me.
We did, in fact, have a drug dealer in our neighboorhood several months ago. It was the kids who brought it to our attention because they noticed all of the cars in and out as well as the smell and the security camera at the front door. When they brought me a crack pipe that they found in the road in front of that house, I took it to the police department. Come to find out, they had already been watching this house and were aware of the illegal activity. The drug dealer has since been arrested and is obviously no longer living in our neighborhood. Was I supposed to ignore this activity and just tell my kids to stay away from it? I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to do that. I work three part-time jobs and my husband works 6 days a week so we can afford to live in a neighborhood that we feel is a safe, friendly place to raise our child. If something happens here that threatens that safe place, I'm not willing to ignore it.
I'd like to hear from some other parents out there to see how they would react. Do any of you agree with ZMan that the registry is wrong and causes undue harm to those listed on it? Do you agree with Bob that we must simply educate our children about this risk just as we would teaching them to wear helmets while riding their bikes? Or do you agree that I should be upset about this potential threat and am just in venting my concerns in this venue?
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Posted by: Bob Dobbs on June 17, 2007 5:39AM EST
Regardless of whether the victim was male or female there are certain things any parent should be already doing to help protect their children.
1. Educate your child. It sounds cliche, but all those things we learned growing up about 'strangers' and 'bad touch' are still relevant. Give your children the tools to defend themselves from even being in bad situations to begin wtih. Avoiding problems is a lot easier than getting out of bad ones (ounce of prevention/pound of cure).
2. Understand that the majority of child molestation cases involve someone the child knows and is familiar with. You're far more likely to have to watch out for teachers, coaches, relatives, youth group and church authority figures. Knowing who these people are and having an active involvement with them and your child will do a lot to deter predators. Like any criminal, they'll go first to the easy target. If you're always asking questions and being involved, it'll make your child more 'risky' to them and a less desireable target. This is why residence restrictions are a joke. It's not the stranger down the street who's likely to be an issue, it's someone on your speed dial.
3. Be fair. Before you get the community up in arms, torches blazing, ready to re-create a scene from Frankenstein, understand our legal system and how things aren't always how they seem on paper. Just because someone's on a sex offender registry doesn't mean they're a child molester. It sounds like, in your case, there actually was mention of a victim of a specific age (or age range). There's an assumption, then, that this person did act against a child. But don't forget how costly and complicated our legal system is. Many times, even huge corporations, find it better to pay the person who spilled hot coffee on their own lap.. settle out of court.. rather than fight it. Assume that at least a portion of people on the sex offender registry were in similar situations. That it's entirely possible that someone can be accused and take the plea bargain for lack of any other options. I'm not trying to defend genuine sex offenders, but this isn't a black and white world. Usually there's more than one story to a situation.
4. According to a Department of Justice report, only 1 in 20 sex offenders (who had actually commited a physical assault on someone) are likely to re-offend. And these people make up a small percentage of the sex offenders on the online registries. There are many cases of things like public nudity (streaking.. peeing behind a dumpster) and other such relatively harmless offenses. So the likelihood that this offender who's moved into your neighborhood would actually do anything to your children is very very low.
It's understandable when people say "but it's MY child" and "even one child is too many". Of course it is. Of course nobody wants anything to happen to anyone's child. But much like teaching your children to wear helmets while biking, pads while rollerblade and skateboarding, you teach them how to avoid situations where someone could do bad stuff to them.
Children are far more likely to get hit by a car or get pschologically abused by kids at school than they are to be molested by someone who has the glaring spotlight of the sex offender registry, the community and the law shining on them.
The sex offenders to worry about are the ones who havn't been caught yet and the very small percentage who are truly twisted who cannot be rehabilitated. In any case, the best protection is to teach your children to protect themselves.
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Posted by: ZMan on June 17, 2007 2:30AM EST
LINKS: * http://sexoffenderissues.blogs... http://sexoffenderissues.blogs... http://sexoffenderissues.blogs... National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (“NACDL”) is a nationwide, non-profit, voluntary association of criminal defense lawyers founded in 1958 to improve the quality of representation of the accused and to advocate for the preservation of constitutional rights in criminal cases. The NACDL has a membership of more than 12,800 attorneys and 92 state, local and international affiliate organizations with another 35,000 members including private criminal defense lawyers, public defenders, active U.S. military defense counsel, law professors and judges committed to preserving fairness within America’s criminal justice system. In these comments NACDL urges the Attorney General to repeal 28 CFR Part 72 because the regulation, as promulgated, violates the ex post facto clause of the Constitution, and will cause widespread confusion and instability in the efforts of many convicted sex offenders to comply with the law and maintain a non-offending lifestyle.
INFO: * I do not believe in registries period, but if the sex offender laws are kept, why discriminate? I DEMAND WE HAVE A CRIMINAL HISTORY REGISTRY, SO I KNOW IF YOU ARE A MURDERER, GANG MEMBER, DRUG DEALER/USER, DRUNK, THIEF! IT'S MY RIGHT! Why won't this fly? Because then the senator, mayor, governor, president, celebrities or you may be on a publicly accessible registry to face the shame. But why not? Why discriminate? So the rich can implement their "master plan?"
* When will people ever realize no matter how tough on crime, all the zero tolerance, all the registries in the world will not prevent a murderer from murdering, a thief from stealing, a dealer from dealing, a user from using, a rapist from raping....accusations on any sex crime, child abuse, or domestic violence will literally nail your butt to the wall! No DNA has to be present, No violence has to be present..... HEARSAY ALONE IS LITERALLY NAILING THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE TO THE WALL BECAUSE THESE LAWS ARE BIASED.
* Living is already almost impossible for "sex offenders", and the more and more laws that are passed daily, eventually they are going to explode, and it won't be a pretty sight. You must be realistic when making laws, these draconian laws make it impossible for anyone to live ANY type of life. Everyone is for treatment and punishing those violent offenders who are making other sex offenders lives hell, but like I said, we must be realistic.
* For all the people being charged with Child pornography, is the law checking the computers to make sure they are not infected with a virus? Many people are ignorant when it comes to computers, and if they click on some attachment in an email, their machine can become infected with a virus, trojan, spyware, adaware program which stores child porn on their machine. Are these so called "experts" checking this? Or ignoring this possibility?
* The issue with sex offenders Internet email addresses, IM names, etc being collected, this is another "feel good" law that will not stop crime. If someone wanted to commit a new crime, they'd create a new email address and commit the crime. This is stupid and won't work. It is just another waste of the taxpayers money.
* Think!! Come up with solutions, not "feel good" laws, which make it harder and harder for sex offenders to get on with their lives.
* "Buffer Zones" are a false sense of security!
* "Buffer Zones" are banishing people from their town, state, and possibly the country!
* "Buffer Zones" create homelessness, which costs society lost productivity, individual dignity, and creates additional problems for enforcing any accurate registry!
* "Buffer Zones" do nothing, except banish! It could be 50 miles and if someone wanted to re-offend, they'd just get in a car and drive!
* It should be MANDATORY that anyone in prison get therapy, and out of prison, if needed. Therapy does work. If you just lock them up without therapy, when they get out, they will be worse off. Therapy teaches people how to not act out and help, regardless of what the general public thinks. Just ask a therapist.
* We need to STOP this hysteria and get sex offenders the help they need.
* You can pass all the laws you want but without therapy this "mob" mentality will not solve anything!
* I am sick of politicians using children to get their laws passed! Who would want to vote against anything that is "for the children"?
* "Stranger Danger" is a smoke screen & hype! Most child sexual offenses occur by someone the child knows, like a family member or close friend!
* These laws are being passed by politicians using sex offenders as scape goats, for votes!
* Registries do NOT protect anyone or prevent crimes!
* Registries are punishing sex offenders as well as their families and children, and opening them up to vigilantism. DON'T THE FAMILIES AND CHILDREN OF sex OFFENDERS COUNT? They are suppose to be "for the children", right?
* Registries are NOT being updated in a timely fashion, so the public is getting false information! How is this helping the public or protecting them when they cannot rely on them?
* Registries are putting families and children of sex offenders in a public position to be socially outcast and discriminated against with regard to employment, housing, schooling, etc!
* About 90% of the people on the registry are NOT violent offenders that these laws were meant for in the first place!
* These laws cost millions, if not billions to enforce, and they cause prison over-population, which is already a problem, especially in California, and taxpayers pay for all this.
* GPS does not prevent sexual crimes! Another false sense of security which cost tons of money! Plus the offenders are supposed to pay for this, which will make them eventually go homeless. MAKE THE TAX PAYERS WHO WANT THESE LAWS PAY FOR THEM!
* These laws cause sex offenders to go underground and into hiding, due to the strict nature of the laws! How is this protecting anyone?
* These laws are all about money for law enforcement and votes for politicians. Prison is a business! Politicians are salaried and want to get elected/re-elected! Law enforcement get paid for people in jails, prisons or on the registry!
* These laws blatantly disregard the United States constitutional rights of all citizens! (i.e. ex-post facto, due process & others)
* These laws are cruel and unusual punishment! A sex offender cannot go to a fast food restaurant which has a playground! Why? They have just as much of a right as you to get a burger! Plus they cannot go anywhere kids congregate. (i.e. Amusement parks, Movie theaters, the list is endless)
* Sex offenders can go to church, but must leave immediately afterwards. If a sex offender owns a business and someone decides to put a church or school next door, they have to now sell their business and move. This is not right, move the church or school, the sex offender was there first!
* These laws continue to punish people even after a sentence has been served, and they are trying to get on with their lives! (i.e. ex-post facto)
* These laws are driven by fear-mongering, opportunistic politicians and will do nothing to actually protect children!
* There are over one million women and children whose lives are inter-twined with a sex offender in the United States. They should matter too!
* Follow the money trail, these laws are conveyor-belt laws to benefit law enforcement! They get paid for the number of people in jail, prison or on the registry!
* They are currently a one-size-fits all for sex offenders! Not all sex offenders are violent offenders that these laws are supposed to be for anyway!
* They are modern day witch hunts and a scarlett letter!
* If sex Offenders are re-offending, why do the registries grow each day? Because new people are being added daily for stuff like "public urination", "mooning", "consensual sex", "young children playing 'Doctor'" and various other minor offenses that we need not worry about. We need to worry about violent offenders!
* Now they are trying to make it a law that a sex offender, if they have kids, cannot "take a picture" of anyone under 18. This is totally stupid! Can't even take Christmas pictures, birthday pictures, etc!
* Also, because a sex offender owns a business in town, many people are trying to get the business shut down! The sex offender had the business for awhile. If you don't like it, MOVE!!!!
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