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worried mom

Posted by: irma mendoza on April 19, 2007 at 1:37PM EST

i have a 12 year old girl she likes to be on my space alot. i just found out that she says she is 16 years old. she has been talking to a 17 year old boy and he is presuring her to smoke weed with him. i'm not sure yet if they have seen each other in person. i' m going to talk to her today. she also put lies about me that i hit her and punch her and that she hates me. i don't know what to do please help

thank you

a very worried mom

(9) Answers

Posted by: Daisy on May 3, 2007 11:28AM EST

What about Facebook? Can anybody tell me more about that?

Posted by: Shannon Smith on April 29, 2007 10:10PM EST

My 11 year old has a myspace account under one condition. I have all access to it all the time. I know her pw and if I log in to it and the pw doesnt work then the account is deleted. As long as the child has one email address then you can always find out if they have a myspace. You can search accounts with thier email address. I am constantly going into her account and reading everything from emails to comments to her friends comments. If I see a comment that is inappropriate then I discuss it with my daughter and we, together, delete the comment. If it continues more than once with this friend, then the friend is deleted from her list. Another good thing to do is if you have a myspace then add your kids' friends to your list as well and let the friends know you are watching. Major supervision is the key here. I totally trust my kids but I want her to know that I am watching if ever the thought of wrong doings is on her mind.

Posted by: je on April 22, 2007 2:04PM EST

We can always try to shut down access to anything, but a preteens or teenagers is going to find access to what they want. I am 30 years old and I have a myspace. I have found many high school friends that I have lost touch with. I don't see it as a "myspace issue" so much as an issue of being involved with your kids and finding out what they are doing. Most of the parents of teenagers that I know have a myspace account also. By creating a myspace account, you can add her to your friends list. The nice thing about this is, not only can you keep an eye on her, but you can check out the profiles of her friends and find out who and what is influencing her. I think myspace was a great creation as long as it's being used for what it was made for. Get involved. Get added to her friends. I've caught my 3 teenage cousins talking about pot, gang fights, and parties from having them as my friends on my account. Another thing to watch for after you get added as her friend is to make sure she does not create a new profile. Check out the friends list of her top friends and see if there is a different profile for her. If you need help with getting this going I can help you. For a 30 year old woman, I know a bit too much about the myspace world. :)

Posted by: Devin's Mom on April 21, 2007 7:23PM EST

I found out that my friends neice was doing the same thing. Only she was saying she was 19 and was actually setting up times to meet men. Found out she was using a dating systems " Love Happens" So we busted into yahoo 360 account and sent a letter to all her listed friends. That she is only 13 and any one who had contact with her from this moment on would be looking a having charges pressed againest them. We no longer have this problem with her.

Posted by: Lily on April 20, 2007 10:30AM EST

Hi Irma, I am wondering how you found out about what your daughter is writing. Did someone else tell you about it or were you able to view her site without her knowing? Or did she tell you about it? I too would be VERY concerned about this. I think you should take the computer away and have a serious talk with her about this. I know she might have access to the Internet at friends' houses but at least it'll make things more difficult. I'd also seriously curtail her socializing time. I'd definitely explain to her that things like that are privileges and not rights! Good luck! Lily

Posted by: Daisy on April 20, 2007 10:27AM EST

Hi Irma,
I also have a 13 year old daughter and 15 year old son. They don't have myspace accounts. They tell me they are the only ones...So What! Take the computer out of the house or put a filter on it.

Make sure you are always over her shoulder when she is on line.
Good luck

Posted by: KB on April 20, 2007 10:26AM EST

I have to agree with scooby27 - get her off my space! KB

Posted by: sj on April 20, 2007 8:36AM EST

Hi Irma-- you definitely need to address this before it gets any worse. I have two web sites that will help with information. One is www.myspaceforparents.com and the other is www.blogsafety.com. MySpace can't really enforce the age situation-- it is up to the parents to do that, and I applaud you for getting involved. It's not easy to have our kids be mad at us, but it's our job to parent them.

Posted by: scooby27 on April 19, 2007 7:04PM EST

Myspace is for ages 14 and up, what is she doing on there? There is a reason they have age restrictions on the site and as a parent you should be enforcing them. If I were you I would try to open the lines of communicaton with her soon, and shut down her access to myspace.