"Summertime, summertime...sum sum summertime!" It's not quite as relaxing and laid back as it used to be....at least not for my 11 year old daughter!
I dropped her and my 13 year old son off at our neighborhood swimming pool yesterday afternoon. She was excited about getting to the pool to swim and see her girlfriends. The doors of the car in front of us opened and out piled 4 boys from her class at school. She was mortified and claimed she absolutely could not get out of our car!! She was too embarrassed by how she looked in her bathing suit!!!
This broke my heart. She is a beautiful, healthy girl. She is physically active and makes healthy food choices most of the time. She is waiting for a growth spurt....puberty and growing a few inches taller are just around the corner. I know this because my 13 year old son experienced it!
He and I coerced her out of the car and into the pool. He called me a few minutes later to say he couldn't find her! I knew she was hiding somewhere and it made me so sad. He found her and convinced her to swim with him. Eventually the boys left and she had a great time at the pool.
She's only 11 years old!! I tried to explain to her that boys that age don't even notice girls (maybe a slight lie) and that she is healthy and not to worry about her appearance. I have always been careful not to speak badly about myself and my physical appearance around my children. I've tried to tell her that people like you for who you are inside...the caring, confident girl I used to know. She thinks this is all BS and sometimes I secretly do too.
So here's my question....how do I encourage her to be herself and not try to fit into the physically perfect mold? What is the best way to help her develop confidence and just help her to feel good about who she is?
Maybe some of you teens out there can help too....do you remember being in this situation? How did an adult help you?
Thanks in advance for your advice.
