SPRING BREAK

I don’t know if this is going to work.

My high school senior wanted to go with her troop of friends to the beach. I immediately pictured ten thousands girls in bikinis, twenty thousand boys in gym shorts, all jammed into a mile of beach with a hot sun and enough beer to fill an Olympic pool. Oh, this is good, I thought. This is the definition of trouble… or at least risk.

So I said no. BUT… I had an alternative. I said let’s all go to the beach for spring break. You, me, your mom, your little sister, and your friends. And I’ll leave you alone, kind of, and I’ll pay for everything. She went for it.

So that’s what we’re doing. Leaving in the morning. But here’s my prediction. She will want to be on her own some of the time, no mom or dad, just her friends. And I get that… and don’t blame her. But if she wants to go out with her friends at night, I intend to say (and if I don’t, her mom certainly will), “Tell me where you’re going, keep your cell phone handy, and be home by midnight.” (In the inherited memory cells of parents everywhere is the truth that all bad things begin at 12:01 a.m.) And then my daughter will say, “Be home at midnight! Dad, how come you don’t trust me?” And I will answer, “I do trust you. I trust you to be a teenager. And teenagers are impulsive, their plans change in a nanosecond, too often they do whatever their friends encourage them to, and then, when there are consequences, they say, “Oh, I didn’t really think about that.” So be home at midnight.

Will this be a good spring break for her and her friends? I think so but I don’t know for sure. What I do know is this: she is my oldest girl, my treasure, and in the grey of life, she is one light that shines clear and bright. And one of the two most important jobs of my life is to raise her and love her and keep her safe. And if that means my girl is not altogether happy for a few minutes one night because she had to come home from the Ball before the clock strikes, so be it. I am her Dad; I love her too much to be her friend.

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My problem child

Posted by: bob at 9:56AM EST on March 30, 2007

The problem with my child

I Have been so proud of my 3rd grade daughter over the last year her reading has greatly improved devouring chapter books and getting A's and B's at school. Now don't get me wrong my daughter is not perfect at times I have had to tell her more than once to clean her room I have even had trouble getting her out of the house in the morning and off to school. There have been times where I have to tell her to stop talking to her sister and do your homework it can be a bit trying, but all in all a happy healthy inquisitive smart kid.

So I was bowled over when the school called me in to discuss the problem with my child. It seems they to have encountered some of the same issues in the classroom that we found at home, having to be told more than once to do something, not listening, talking in class. After the meeting we had some serious one on one with our daughter that mostly, according to the notes from the teacher, seemed to solve most issues. Then I got really mad when the school called me in for more meetings and told us in writing your child has a problem you need to take her to a doctor and put her on ADHD medication. that's when I realized my daughter does have a problem, she is in a world that is used to kids dazed on computer games, TV, and Ritalin and has forgotten how a normal active social 9 year old acts.

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Monday March 19, 2007

Co-ed Sleep Overs and Prom Night?

Posted by: Dutch at 4:08PM EST on March 19, 2007

Prom Night...what happened to junior or senior couples eating at a nice restaurant, driving to a fancy dance, maybe attending an after-party for a couple hours, then a heavy smooch and, “goodnight, see you soon?” When did the after-party experience "norm" become a co-ed spend the night party with breakfast in the morning? Most parents I asked "what did your kid do after the prom" support this FACT my daughter emphatically declared when I told her I expected she would assuredly not be spending the night with her date at the after party. Is our area the only one where this is common?

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Monday March 12, 2007

White Liar

Posted by: Robeddie at 10:35AM EST on March 12, 2007

O-K, my kid’s only 6 years old, but already, she seems surprisingly well versed in the art of small deceptions.

Today’s example: She’s getting over a sickness (strep) and my wife decides it’s best to keep her our of school today (Monday) not sure she’s fully recovered.

Alexis wakes up and is high! Spirits. Running around, laughing.

I ask her, “are you happy because you’re not going to school today?”

She responds, “No, I LOVE school!”

At which point I call her bluff and say “O-K, we’ll take you to school then.”

“NO!” she hollers.

Like a lot of kids, no doubt, she was happy to have a day off of school.

What gets me is that it seemed like she told me what she thought I wanted to hear, that she ‘loves school’.

Now in reality, I know she doesn’t hate school, but love it? Not the way she made it sound. She definitely looks forward to the weekends, let’s put it that way.

This isn’t the “I didn’t spill the milk” kind of lie… it’s a little more subtle. Should I worry my daughter is already so attuned to the art of subtle deception? After all, my goal is be a parent who my child can say anything to... can be honest with. Is it a bad sign that already at the age of 6 she feels she has to 'tweak' the truth for my ears?

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Monday March 5, 2007

Anti-Social Kid?

Posted by: Bruce at 10:31AM EST on March 5, 2007

My 12-year-old son doesn’t seem to have any friends at school – and he only has about two close friends in the neighborhood.

I’ve asked his teachers, and they say he seems comfortable around the other students – but that he chooses not to socialize with his classmates. When I’ve asked him directly, he says he likes some of the kids at school, but he doesn’t want to hang out with them.

Should I encourage him to seek out more people as friends, or just accept that he prefers to be mostly by himself?

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