I have friends who never told their chlldren and g'children about their horrible days during the Holocaust.  How they suffered in the concentration camps, how their families were killed, how they survived and how they came to America.  They never told them until their children were in their late 20's, early 30's.  Some never, ever told.  I think some history was surely lost but I 'm not sure how I would have reacted.

I remember my children spell -bound as my father-in-law told them about himself when he was young.  I was never sure if was due to the fact that the stories were so riveting or simply because they really enjoyed cuddeling up next to him.  They simply adored him.

My parents weren't quite so vocal so I told my chilldren and g'children about their grandmother and her mother.  They were awe struck as I  told them how they escaped from Russia/Poland by  "riding the rails" - holding on underneath the freight cars.  I told them that their g'mother never knew if she was born in Russia or Poland because the boundries kept changing depending on the winner of the many wars.  I let them know how my mother was 12 when she came to America and had to go to kindergarten until she learned to read, write and speak English. They kept asking for more and I told them all I knew.

I guess what both my father-in-law and I were telling them was how lucky they were that both their grandparents survived many hardships and were fortunate to have come to America.  I felt that they would take pride in their past and respect America more and the fact that they were born here. I hoped they would appreciate the hardships that so many people made for all of us.

There are surely lots of similar stories out there.  Hopefully, you've already told your children about your past.  Before it's too late , tell your grandchildren also.   So, when your g'children ask "how did I get here,"  forget the stork and tell them how before you forget.

There is no final exam - just a few reminders:

1.  YOU ARE NOT THE PARENT,  For me, this was the hardest fact to accept - especially with my first (twin) granddaughterrs.

2.  Spend as much time with them as possible no matter their ages.  They're never too old to need a grandparents love.

3.  Be sure they understand the difference between your love for them and your "like" for them.  Love is always, like not so.

4.  It's ok to spoil them A LITTLE.   Remember, their parents have to live with them after you do so.  Spoil them a LOT with love, hugs, kisses and respect - no one can get enough of those things.

5.  Don;t compete with their parents.  Their responsibilities are a lot different than those of yours.

6.  Don't compete with their other grandparents.  Some give more love, some more time, some more material things.  Do the best with what you have.

7.Don't teach them unless you are sure you are re-enforcing what their parents and teachers teach them.  Otherwise, it could be DISASTEROUS for evreryone.  I once taught my granddaughter a quick way to add and subtract.  The teacher was not happy.  She told me they needed to do all of the steps because they were necessary to move on to more advanced adding and subtracting and more. 

8..  Don't EVER spank, slap, potch or take any other type of corporal punishment.  It just isn't done today - I was told so.

9.  Play with them - get on the floor with them - get down and dirty and sweaty with them.  Play on their level, not yours.

10. Don't argue with their parents in front of them.   Respect their parents' rules, teachings, methods, etc.  If you have some "suggestions" voice them to the parents in private. 

That's it for now.  Those are just suggestions, not commandments.  Only God - only she - can make those.