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GRAND Parenting
This forum is for grandparents. Click Here to Add a New Entry
August 2007
Friday August 31, 2007
Permalink Posted by: Lily at 11:41AM EST on August 31, 2007

Whatever your political views are you have to admire Geraldine Ferraro!  Friday there was a very inspiring story about her on The Today Show .

In 1998 she was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a form of blood cancer, and was given 3-5 years to live.  She was worried then that her grandchildren wouldn't remember her. 

Today she is thriving at the age of 71, almost 10 years later.  She receives an injection of a chemotherapy-like drug twice a week and is doing very well.  Her cancer is still there but she is able to live with it! 

This is due to the new drugs which have been developed.  In the 9 years she's been battling this disease, four new drug cocktails have been developed which have been successful at keeping the disease at bay!  Ferraro has been instrumental in raising money and the profile of the disease!  She said however, that she worries that these drugs are very costly and not everyone who suffers from this disease has access to them.  Through her knowledge of government red tape and bureaucracy, she is working to undo this. 

Ferraro says she is no longer worried about her grandchildren not remembering her, but about having to pay for their college tuition....something she'll gladly do!

Wednesday August 22, 2007
Permalink Posted by: Dorothy Stahlnecker at 11:44PM EST on August 22, 2007
During the last two months my 78 year old mother fell and broke her rib. She's in rehab and not doing well.  My husband's 94 year old aunt just fell down the stairs, and is in the hospital dying. She is in hospice and not thought to make it through the week.

I'm 61..and  I find myself wondering  how long before I'm in that situation? For the first time, I'm having anxiety and don't know where to place it.  It's awful when you see people who were strong physically and mentally begin to fail.  Even worse when you see them unable to make simple decisions and have to depend on others to make the choices for them.

  We're blessed (my husband and I) we have children and grandchildren who seem to care enough to make commitments to us, and would make choices for our care we would approve of.  

None the less, everyone talks about making arrangements for when you die....shouldn't we be giving the same consideration, or more for when we live....?

Having thought about the current family events, I've begun to think about different kinds of care I might need.  Hospitals, rehab centers, assisted living, and nursing homes. It may seem strange, however, if I don't start reviewing insurance coverage, figuring out what medicare and medicaid are, the burden for my family  just gets bigger.

So I'm asking, does it seem crazy that I'm currently obsessed with what will happen to me if I get sick?  Or are there other children wondering what the outcome of their parents  might need if they have a medical crisis?  And if there are other grandparents my age and older, who have thought about this, and what have you done to prepare?

In addition, I wonder what can we do..to lessen the burdens for our family and further insure the dignity and care  we would want?  Is this such a foolish thought or is it  beginning to make  sense?

So now that I've said it,  a few times, see the obsession?  Am I alone or do you have some comments for me? 

  Although the care I see for my mom and Joe's aunt is very good...I wonder is it what I would want?  It's a question I really didn't want to think about yet,  I think I better...

Regards, Dorothy from grammology
http://grammology.com
Wednesday August 15, 2007
Permalink Posted by: CWK Webmaster at 3:58PM EST on August 15, 2007
I have read books on subjects  from  A to Z  --   Aardvarking to Zithering.  I've attended lectures on strange subjects such as,   "How to Make Money in the Stock Market" and "How to Cut Your Losses in the Stock Market."  I've taken classes on Igloo Building and Parenting.  In short, I have immersed myself in many conceivable  -- and even some inconceivable  --   subjects that I thought would benefit me.  I have finally realized that one subject,    maybe the most important one, has been missing.  I intend to correct that oversight now.  I call my hopefully helpful subject simply:   GRANDPARENTING 201. 

RULE 1- Repeat daily to yourself  -- especially before talking to or visiting with your grandchildren -- " I am not the parent; I am the grandparent."     Easy to say but hard to obey.  I know this personally.
RULE 2 - Do not tell your children  --  the real parents of your grandchildren  -- what they are doing wrong.
Let them suffer and find out for themselves just as you did and wish you hadn't  -- right after you did it.
RULE 3 - Do not shield your grandchildren from the punishment (other than corporal) they deserve even if it breaks your heart, as it will.  This is a learning experience for everyone  -- especially you.
RULE 4 - Do not be the disciplinarian UNLESS you are in charge.  It's not your job, thank goodness. 
RULE 5 - Don't contradict the parents of your grandchildren,  even if you know they are wrong  (at least not in front of your grandchildren) .  There will be plenty of opportunities later on.
RULE 6 - Don't interfere in issues between your grandchildren and their parents.  Translation: mind your own business.  Please don't ask me if I follow this rule 'cause I sincerely hate to lie.
RULE 7 - Scenario: your grandchild has been severely chastised by his parents  -- sent to his/her room.  Your grandchild comes crying to you.  Do not sympathize with or coddle him/her 'cause he'll think his parents were wrong which, in your opinion, they probably were.  
RULE 8 - Never revert to the "in my day" argument.  This is no longer your day  -- or mine.
RULE 9 -  When having a difference of opinion with the parents on how they are treating (mistreating your grandchild)  ... stop!  Don't use the argument "well,  I raised you and look how you turned out." That may or may not be a good argument  -- who knows.
 RULE 10 - Never ask me if I, as a grandparent,  have followed all/some/a few of the above rules.  I will have to take the fifth.
 
And the most important rule? HAVE FUN WITH YOUR GRANDCHILDREN AND LOVE THEM.  THAT'S ALL THEY WANT ! 


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