Parents today seem to have more trouble then we did in determining when to allow their children to do or not to do certain things. Many years ago my wife and I decided "to allow" - as long as they had very little chance of getting hurt or hurting others.
My youngest son, at about 9 or10, decided that he wanted to play Little League tackle football. Needless to say, my wife was apprehensive. We discussed the matter, talked to the coach and said YES. Our son was ecstatic. He played against kids his own age and weight. Some were better than he, some worse. Sure, he got some bruises, aches and pains. But he enjoyed them and proudly showed them off.
When he was 12, he decided to give up football because many of the kids were bigger and stronger than he. "They could really hurt me,” he said. That was the end of football. Most kids really do know their own limits. My oldest daughter, who was in High School, decided she wanted to join the school's swim team - as a diver. We gave her request a lot of consideration since she had never dived competitively. Again we said OK. She was up every morning at about 6AM - hot or cold - and practiced for about 2 hours. Then she was off to class. This lasted some 2+ years. She didn't win many trophies or first places but it was, in her words, a wonderful experience - learning to do something she had never tried before. She was really proud of herself and so were we. My oldest son didn't want to play Little League baseball, but we insisted. He was about 8, a little lazy and not particularly athletic (he took after me). He "made" the team and grudgingly went into the outfield. Fortunately, few balls were hit into that area. Sometimes they rolled out there when the infielders didn't pick up the ball. He sat out there most of the time picking flowers and weeds. We abandoned baseball after about a year or so. He went on to enjoy kayaking, tennis and flying.
My youngest daughter wanted to try everything - tennis, swimming, singing, dancing, acting and entering beauty contests for children. She didn't win any prizes but excelled at some. The other activities were wonderful experiences, she said. Win or not, excel or not, succeed or not - they were all very fulfilling activities that taught them all that they could do things they had never done, could stick to them even when they were not doing well, could get along with others and participate in team work. No activities damaged them or their self-esteem.
They are all adults now - which, as most parents agree, is hard to believe. One is a real estate attorney held in high regard, another a well known Circuit Court judge, another a wonderful, caring social worker and the youngest is a gifted free- lance writer, director and public relations "maven" in business for herself. Two were high school valedictorians and all graduated college with high honors. I guess I'm trying to point out that no experience is a bad one, as long as no one gets hurt. Every one teaches and encourages us to do things we never thought we could do. So, I say to all parents, let 'em try - encourage your children to experience as much of life as possible - just as long as they can't get hurt or hurt others. They will surely turn out to be better, well-rounded adults for each experience. By the way, that applies to all of us - kids, parents and grandparents. We're never too old to learn.
