GRAND Parenting | Too Close For Comfort?

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GRAND Parenting

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Too Close For Comfort?

Posted by: Lily on September 10, 2007 at 10:48AM EST

I just spent the weekend at my parents' house which is 5 hours away. They have lived in their current house for 25 years and are considering moving to my city, now that my brother and his family are moving away from our hometown. My parents are pretty involved in their community but at ages 70 and 72, they want to be near family .

My husband seems to be having a hard time with this, playing devil's advocate a little too strongly, in my opinion. We have never lived near family and I am excited about the prospect! I suspect he's worried that my mom and dad will be at our house every day! Even though we are very close, I don't think they will.

So my question is this....how do grandparents balance supporting, loving and being with their adult children and grandchildren with giving them their own space too? Have you found a solution that works for you?

(3) Comments

Posted by: Lily on September 21, 2007 10:58AM EST

Thanks for the advice and input. I like your ideas and your perspective, Dorothy! It seems grandparents are way busier today than when we were young!!

Posted by: Dorothy Stahlnecker on September 20, 2007 6:54AM EST

I'm the grandparent, and my daughter bugs the heck out of me to visit more. I don't have time, however, if I did I'd be there several times a week.
My daughter and her children love our times together and it may work better then you think. As for your husband..do the things while he's working and less when he's around. Your parents will understand. I try to make sure my time is well thought out so as not to interfere... Good luck, life is never easy. Because your thinking it through, you should be okay.

Dorothy from grammology

Posted by: sj on September 11, 2007 9:15AM EST

It's funny, because when I moved back to the city I grew up in when my son was a baby, I had an expectation that my father would be involved and around more than he was. (my mother had passed away and he had remarried) I was so disappointed in the beginning, but realized that I needed to talk with him about what would work for everyone--- not just how I thought it ought to be! Your husband can probably only picture what it is like when your parents come to visit--- but it will be different if they live close by. If your parents are active, independent people, they aren't going to want to be around y'all all the time!!! It really is such a great thing for the kids to have loving grandparents close--I bet your husband will come around!