A couple of weeks ago, my family traveled to Costa Rica for vacation for 10 days.  It was one of the most amazing and fun trips I have ever been on.  Throughout our trip, we visited three different cities: Monteverde for its cloud forest, Arenal for its volcanoe, and Manuel Antonio for its beaches.  We saw picturesque views from above the cloudforest, we went on hikes around a volcanoe, and we spent days relaxing at beaches.  We ziplined over forests and alos repelled down waterfalls.  However, we also side a different side of life there.  I was shocked at the living styles of most of the country's inhabitants.  Although the third-world country contained impoverished villages, the people living there seemed content with their lifestyles.  They were hard-working people who siezed the day whenever possible, living every moment as much as they could.  Most of our guides on tours knew so much more than we would have ever thought.  It was mind boggling.  In our nice hotels, I felt very guilty that we were spending our money on our own recreation when there were people right outside who needed that money for more necessary reasons.  I just wish there was a way to help the country as a whole rise from the dirt because the people there definately deserve it.

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Every summer my school assigns all students to read four summer reading books. Almost always the books are at least 200 pages long. This summer I have to read Frankenstein, The Life of Pi, Wit, and The book thief. The problem with these books is that they never relate to anything that goes on in our day to day lives. Students get bored reading books that they can't relate to. When students don't like the books, most will just use spark notes to learn about the book. I know people who have never read a summer reading book in their entire life and they use spark notes for all the books. Summer Reading is miserable for kids. When we are in school we have a lot of responsibility, and the summer is supposed to be a time for us to relax. Summer reading is just another thing to worry about. Teens find lots of ways around reading the books. It is a huge hasselfor students. Students would probably get interested in them, if they related more to our day to day lives.

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Recently, two of the most important people in my life got in a huge fight. They both were really upset and said things they didn't mean. For a long time I stood there listening to them go back and forth and I wanted more than anything to get involved and help the situation. Every time I looked at the two people they looked like they were in so much pain, and it was hard for me to see two people that I love so much fighting.

I have the sort of personality where I want to fix any situation where there is a problem. I get myself involved too much because I want to help, but at the same time, it sometimes only makes things worse. Either I dont say something the right way or the other person thinks I'm siding with the other.

The worst part about these sort of situations is that I have sympathy for both parties. I'm not siding with either one, but when I feel I need to step in and help them stand back and evaluate the situation, I have no problem getting involved.

It's hard for me to sit back and watch my friends or family go through pain. If anything, I'd rather that pain be inflicted on me because I feel I can handle it. However, that pain doesn't usually transfer to me; the pain just continues to grow in the situation and usually ends up with more confusion than from the beginning. For some reason though I can't stop myself from getting involved, and because most of the time my close friends and family come and talk to me about their problems, I feel obligated to help.

Any suggestions? 

 

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

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A lot of the time I hear from teens that pot is like smoking a cigarette. The only difference, is that pot is not addictive, and it gives you a high. I have heard some people say that cigarettes are nasty and they would rather smoke pot. When I hear teens say that they think cigarettes are nasty and only smoke pot, I wonder how someone can think an illegal drug is better for you than a legal substance. Teens now treat pot like a cigarette. There is not a differnece between the two. Now the big dangerous drugs are cocaine, heroin, and crystal meth. Pot is not even considered illegal amoung teens. I have never smoked a cigarette, nor done pot. I don't understand why people would want to kill their brain cells for a couple hours of being high. Smoking can be addictive, and pot you can stop doing any time you want. Although most times, once a teen starts doing pot, the more likely they will continue. Teens do pot to get a high, and if they like the feeling, they willl most likely do it again. I don't agree with teens saying that pot and cigarettes are the same. Pot is an illegal drug, and cigarettes may be addictive, but they are still legal.

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As a teen who just started driving, many of my friends and I have all started to run into the same problem. We don't have money. Many of us have started to get jobs and earn our own money and its harder to spend it. When our parents gives us cash we spend it easily, but when we earn it or save it suddenly its harder to let go of. Lately me and my friends have been stumped becuase we can all drive and we are spending money all the time.We run through our paychecks in a few weeks and then we are bored, or we save it and refuse to do anything expensive. We can't find anthing to do that doesn't cost money and gets us OUT of the house! Does anyone have any suggestions for 16-17 year old kids to have good clean fun, without spending money or sitting at home watching TV!

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I was at spin class today and the instructor brought up Shaq's new TV show.  If you haven't heard about it, Shaq is hosting a boot camp for overweight teens.  I saw a preview on TV and thought it might be interesting, but I haven't watched it yet.  What really struck me though was that the kids couldn't walk on a treadmill for more than 5 minutes without getting out of breath and having to quit.  In addition, they were all about 180-250 pounds as 14 year olds.

The basis of the show is to get the kids to pass the President's Physical Fitness Test.  In order to accomplish this, they have to run or jog, do crunches (or other abdomen strengthening exercises), squats, and an exercise where you reach your right arm to your left toe and then reverse.  They have to exercise 5 times a week.  It's a great reminder to work out and and eat healthy, or you will gain unwanted weight quickly.

If you want to check out the show, it's on ABC on Tuesdays 9/8c

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On Saturday I did something I have never done before, and never wish to do again. I got in my first car accident.

It's funny because I have had my license for two years and have never so much as been pulled over. When I first started driving I was overly careful, coming to a prolonged stop at every stop sign and never pulling out if there was so much as a hint of a car coming my way.  But as time wore on and I became more comfortable, I also became more confident.  Every time I left the house it was my mom's ritual to say, "Drive safe!" to which I usually rolled my eyes. It would always irritate me because it was like she didn't trust that I was a good driver.

Well I had to learn the hard way that even good drivers aren't immune to making mistakes. I was slightly lost and trying to figure out where I was when I got hit at an intersection, went over the median, and came to a stop in the turn lane of the opposing traffic. I knew I wasn't hurt, but I immediately burst into tears. A woman came and offered to call someone, so I picked up the phone from where it had flown on the floor and handed it to her so she could call my dad. 

The next hour was agonizing. About twenty minutes after the wreck I was still sitting in my car bawling.  A police officer came and gently said that I could take off my seatbelt now. My dad finally arrived and I sobbed into his chest for a good 10 minutes.

Thankfully, I wasn't hurt and neither was anyone else. My car didn't come out so lucky- we think it's probably totaled. But it was a very humbling experience. Being a good driver does make you less likely to get in a wreck but it doesn't make you immune to it.

So to anyone that is just starting to drive- it CAN happen to you. And it is so scary. So don't get lazy with your driving and don't get overly confident. I know it's dramatic, but it might just save your life.

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If you are in middle school, or junior high, we would love to have your opinion about a new book, The Smart Start Guide to Junior High. The guide answers a lot of the commonly asked questions that kids and parents have about starting middle school (junior high). If you are interested in reading a few pages please send a quick email to book@thinking-forward.com. We will send you 3-4 pages to read and a few questions.

What's in it for you? A free copy of the book when it publishes this fall and your name in print (if you choose) as one of the book's editors.

Thanks in advance!

Joe Bruzzese

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When a friend asked me to a movie a few days ago I told her I couldn’t go because I had to baby-sit that night. The truth was that I was going to a friend’s birthday party and she hadn’t been invited. Instead of telling her about the party I told a white lie, hoping to spare her feelings. However, for the rest of the night I felt guilty for not telling her the truth. This made me wonder, when is it ok to use a white lie? Further, is a white lie any different from a regular lie or is it just a way of dressing up a word with such a negative connotation? Honestly, I think that I would rather know the truth for the most part. At the same time, maybe it’s possible that in some cases a lie is better than the truth.

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Often parents become too involved in their kids athletics. Parents often get upset about their child's playing time -- especially at the highly competitive level or when the child is at the junior or senior level in high school or college. In my opinion, the best players should
play. Age or any other politics is irrelevant. Parents should stay out and let the coaches handle it. If a player truly believes that he or she should get more playing time or a starting position then that needs to be taken care of between the coach and the player. I don't think parents need to get involved at that stage. They are not at practice every day and they don't see everything that the other coaches and teammates see.

If the player asks the coach what they can do to improve or get more playing time and the coach replies with "nothing" or a statement explaining that they will never "move up", then you have a problem that calls for adults. The next step is to bring the parents AND the player in for a meeting with the coach. If the coach continues to be persistent and does not provide the player with any ways for improvement, then the family should go to the athletic director of the school. After that, the parents have done everything they can and should then step back and let the school handle the problem. Meanwhile, the athlete should do everything they can to get better and have a great attitude.

 I know from personal experience that when you ask a coach "what do I need to do to get better?" they really appreciate it and respect you for it. Not very often does a coach reply  "nothing". It is a great learning experience to be able to sit with your coach and get constructive criticism and ask for ways to improve. It will make you grow as a person and I believe it will only result in a happier relationship between coach, player, and parent.

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On Sunday I completed my first triathlon!  I really enjoyed the experience and all of the people I met.  However, the course turned out to be longer than I thought.  The swim was 1/3 of a mile, the bike was 19.1 miles, and the run was 3.2 miles.  The swim went fine, but I wasn't concerned about that leg of the race.  After I drove the course on Saturday, the leg that I was worried about was the bike because there were so many hills.  It turns out that the bike wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be; I made it up all of the hills and to the transition area!  My friend and I promised ourselves that we weren't going to get off our bikes and we were going to run the entire way.  I stayed on my bike even at places where other people got off and walked up.  Additionally, at the end of the race there were many people who walked the run portion.  I passed all of them because I told myself that I wasn't going to quit that far into the race.  It turned out to be a whole lot of fun and I raced with a world class champion--the lady who placed first at the Hawaiian Iron Man and 2nd at the Sydney Olympics.  My next tri is July 28th and I'm looking forward to it!

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Today kids are bullied everyday. It seems to me that as time goes on the bullying seems to get worse. I have had friends now who are made fun of for some of the crazy things they do. At my school there used to be a boy who harassed people at school. Kids today are criticized for being different. If they don't meet the "popular" kids standards, they are shunned and made fun of. Bullying is a big probem in our society today. We don't realize that kids are such an influence on each other. Bullying can sometimes lead to someone hurting themselves, or worse, suicide. When someone gets beat up everyday because he is a little bit different, he might go into a depression, or have thoughts of suicide. Kids won't talk to their parents and might lose friendships. Their grades may begin to drop. They become completely secluded. The people who bully others are insecure with themselves, maybe they have issues at home, or they are angry. The bullies take their anger out on weaker kids and do not realize that they are scaring these kids for the rest of their lives. It is hard for a child to recover and forget what someone has done to them in the past. The by-standers are responsible as well. When you see someone being bullied, you should stand up for them, or go tell someone. Bullying is hurting kids all over the world. People need to be educated and know that they are hurting these kids verbally and physically.

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One of my family's new favorite shows is Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?  You would think that the questions would be easy since 5th graders have to answer them, however there are some really hard ones.  No matter if they're hard or easy, my family enjoys watching the show together and trying to answer the questions. We all have our favorite subjects that we hope the contestant picks.  I can normally answer the Math and Science questions, but have a hard time with the Geography and History questions.  Now I have good news for you!  You can go to Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader's website and play the game online.  If you make it to the 1,000,000 question and answer it correctly, you are placed on the honor roll.  I'm proud to say that my name is on it!  Good luck to all of you future contestants.

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I just wanted to write this for all of the high schoolers that read this blog. Having just completed my first year of college, I feel like I might have some helpful insight to those younger then me.

I had all of the typical high school and middle school experiences: I made friends, I lost friends. I failed at some things, I succeeded at some things. I was teased, I was complimented. I loved, I lost. And I survived it all.

I know it is hard- I had moments that I thought, "This cannot possibly get any worse." And my mom would say "Don't worry honey- in 10 years you will look back at this and laugh", which would make me so mad because I thought she had no idea what it was like. But even though it has just been a few years I can see how I have a better perspective on things now.

So my advice is this: having gone through it all- friends stabbed me in the back, I didn't get the lead role in the school musical my senior year that I had worked four years for, boys that I liked didn't like me back, I had classes I never thought  I would pass- when something bad happens that you think is really terrible, just appreciate the good stuff you have going on. All of the petty issues in high school virtually disappear in college. There is hope, I promise. So keep your chin up!

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Some of my friends were training for the Country Music 1/2 Marathon, and at first thought, I thought that they were CRAZY.  Before I started training, the furthest I had run was 3 miles, and I never thought that I could go past 5 miles!  However, I decided to join them becuase I wanted to prove myself wrong.  I ended up running 13.1 mi. on April 28, 2007.

Now I was off to my next challenge.  Ever since my one friend said he was going to do a triathlon, I decided that I wanted to do one.  Part of me just wanted to prove to him that I could do it, and another part of me thought that it would be fun!  My first one is coming up on Sunday.  I'm going to compete in the Iron Girl at Lake Lanier with another one of my friends.  It's a 1/3 meter swim, 18 mile bike, and 3 mile run; all together it should take about 2 hours.  I went out and bought the equipment yesterday to get myself ready.  I haven't combined any of the events during training, but I'm mentally ready to on Sunday.  If anyone has done a triathlon and has any advice, it would be much appreciated.  I feel like I'm in shape, but it will be a challenge--especially the bike (18 miles!! and the run, since it's at the end). 

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THE SIMPSONS is the longest running animated show and is known through generations. We all look to see what an AVERAGE American family seems like and to see how they act in situations. This is one show that many families can agree on that it was a show everyone used to watch. I like it because my mom doesn't really like it! I also like it because it's funny, it's sarcastic (like me), makes fun of things I think are funny. Funny enough, the show actually teaches you lessons like ... how to use humor in life; what a really bad dad is like; what it would be like to have a really bad brother!

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As a rising senior in high school, I am constantly surrounded with teenagers who only participate in certain activities to be "cool". It is "cool" to be a football player or it is "cool" to drink, but if you are only doing something for the title or for acceptance, then it's definetely not worth it. I love to sing and act. Many kids at my school make fun of thesbians and think they are all "gay". That is not true at all. We sing and act because we all have a passion for it and don't care what others say. If other people are making fun of you because you are doing something you are passionate about, then they are not worth being friends with. True friends accept you for who you are and support you in your goals. I feel bad for teens who feel they have to act a certain way or do something they wouldn't normally do to feel accepted. Having talked to friends who have done things to be "cool", there has been a common denominator with all of them. None of them feel any better about themselves or feel any more accepted than they did before. Having gone through a roller coaster of different friends, I have never been happier than I am now because I am not only doing something I love (being an actress), but I have found friends who accept me for who I am and support me in all my decisions.  It is so important to be true to who you are; if you feel you need to act a certain way around another for them to like you, then most likely they aren't a great friend. It is so much more satisfying and rewarding knowing you are being true to yourself rather than pretending to be another person for the rest of your high school career to be "cool". If you are your real self, that automatically makes you cool and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!  :)

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My name is Haylee and I am a rising senior. I have been through many situations with my parents, and my relationship with each one has changed a lot over the years. I went from adoring my parents as a child to thinking my parents weren't "cool" to wanting to be out with my friends every night to now where I love spending time with them. For a long time I didn't want to be close with my parents and felt a need to pull away from them, but as I have gotten older and realized how important they are to me in my life, I now have a desire to talk to them a lot about my life and what's going on. The reason I have such strong relationships with my parents is because we communicate. We are able to be open and honest with each other about how we feel, and it is such an incredible and beautiful relationship. The key however is my parents being understanding and taking the time to talk with me. Many of my friends can't stand their parents because they feel they don't have time for them ,and to fill that void in their life,  many teenagers turn to drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. I feel so blessed to have parents that spend time with me and want to know what's going on in my life. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE going out with my friends and getting away sometimes, but I am so amazed to see how my relationships with my parents have strengthened over the years because #1) I am honest with them and #2) My parents love me so much and truly want to have a strong relationship with me. Communication is the KEY to any relationship. If you want to have a close relationsihp with your child, I feel it is so important to make time for them and let them know they are loved. With love and patience, I am confident that parent/child relationships will most of the time be strong ones and close ones that will last for the rest of their lives.

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This year I will be a junior and it is about that time to start and look for colleges. This past weekend I went to look at my first college. It was amazing to look at the campus, dorms, and get a feel for college life. The dorms were really small, which kind of freaked me out. The facilities were amazing and there were so many courses to choose from. Students have a lot more freedom. Also on college visits you get a feel for the town. You picture yourself there and see if you could be happy there. Looking for the right college can be stressful, but it is a lot of fun and a great experience. You will never find the right place for you if you don't look.

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I am 16 years old and I play a sport year round. I would consider my self fit and of average weight for my height. I have many friends who are obsessed about their weight and they have begun to diet. It makes me crazy to see these beautiful teenage girls at sleepovers or birthday parties not participating in birthday cake or ice cream becasue of their restrictive diets. In my personal opinion, teens SHOULD be healthy and aware of their weight, however; they SHOULD NOT diet or change their eating habits dramatically. If a teen feels overweight or unhealthy I believe they should add more fruits and vegetables to their diet and maybe cut back on TONS of carbs and sweets, NOT CARBS all together. As teenagers, our bodies are growing and changing everyday, and it is important that we get more carbs then the average adult to keep up with our changing bodies.

I think that teens actually get a lot of pressure about their weight from their own parents. I know that people think that their kids are beautiful no matter what, but many parents may slightly hint at a change in diet or a weight problem and they do not understand the effect it has on their kids. Especially with girls their moms need to be really careful becasue they look up to them a lot and their own eating habits will affect their child's. I have noticed that when a girl's mom is thinner than she is, it really distorts the daughter's self image. I am not saying that all moms have to gain weight and MUST out weigh their daughter, but especailly in our society today when many mom's are trying to lose weight make sure that your daughter does not feel like she is in a competition. Mom's have to be extra careful about what they say. Don't put your daughter on some "list" of dietary restrictions and keep them in the house around her. It just makes her feel like she is huge and everyone around her is allowed to eat. If she really has a problem In my opinion the best solution is exercise.

I believe that teenage kids should be able to eat whatever they want and just "exercise it off". Especially when our metabolisms will allow it. I understand that this might not be possible for all young teens, but a slight change in diet or addition of healthy foods is sufficient. Teens should enjoy themselves and feel like they don't have to worry about food yet. Parents need to back off. Get outdoors. Enjoy This time in your life!

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My name is Jacob I'm 11 and I know from my friends and peers that a lot of people are more than friends at an early age. I don't beleive that at 11 people should be boy friend and girl friend because we/they don't know how to adapt to it. We/they mostly go into this because of peer pressure or hormones. Once one couple is created other people feel the need to have one. then rumors start and feelings and hearts break with emotions running deep. My advice would be to wait even if you "love" them because you will commit to something that was probubly caused by hormones or pressure or maybe something unclear. Either way you should wait till you truly know your feelings.

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Teens these days do many things to jeopardize their future.  They go to many extremes to get by.  Teens will shoplift in order to keep up with trends when they don't have the money in order to do so.  Teens will cheat in order to get good grades.  They do this in order to satisfy their parents and teachers.  Teens will do drugs in order to escape the everyday pressures of their lives.  Teens see drugs as a way to take the edge off.  Teens drink because they think it is the only way to have fun.  These extremes that teens go to are NOT worth the consequences!  These consequences could include: getting kicked out of school, going to prison, losing trust from friends and parents, being responsible for the death of someone else or yourself, and many more.  Teens need to be responsible enough and think before they act!  These actions taken by teens are not worth the possible outcomes.  Be safe!

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Teens lives are so stressful today. We are expected to do our best and perform at a very fast pace. My friends on average maybe get six hours of sleep a night. A teenager needs on average at least eight hours of sleep a night. The pressure on teens today does not allow us to get enough sleep, which will cause us to not perform at our highest level. Sleep is very important and not getting enough can be detrimental to our health. Teens do stay up late and go to parties during the summer and on weekends, but we do not go out every night, so we should have a chance to catch up on our sleep. The pressure on teens is to high. If teens do not get more sleep, they cannot perform at their highest level.

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I am in the eleventh grade, and everyone around me has started to drink. I have kept a very strict promise with my self not to drink, but an even stricter one about drinking and driving. I tell my parents everything and they completely trust me. I would never get behind the wheel if i had had ANYTHING to drink. Its starting to affect my social life though. If i want to go somewhere and my parents know there will be drinking there, they won't let me go! It's starting to get hard tomake plans andhang out with my friends because everything involves drinking. I wish i could be allowed to go to those events and just have the trust in me that i would not participate.

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I have a friend who has been dating her boyfriend for almost two years. They went to elementary school together and have been friends a long time. He has ALWAYS had a crush on her but she never aknowledged  him untill high school. Now, they have had a serious relationship for almost two years.  They hang out together every single weekend and inbetween classes they are always seen together.  They will be all over each other in the hallway and others have started to notice. They kiss, hug, and hold hands like a married couple. They wait for each other in the parking lot before school and they sometimes eat dinner at each other's house on school nights. He will even go to her house before school. People have started to get annoyed, and both of them have lost many friends through the process. As her best friend, I have begun to question how much is too much?

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Going to a new school can be tough. I went into highschool not knowing very many people or the environment of the school. It was very hard trying to get to know new people. Trying to break into their groups was hard because they had already formed strong friendships with other people in the grade. Being new everyone looked at me because they didn't know who I was and walking through the hallways I would try really hard not to trip and embarrass myself. Being new was intimidating and scary. I looked up at all the tall seniors. Everything was so new and different. Going into the new school was also very exciting. I had a ton of freedom and free time. Everything was upbeat and positive as I walked through the halls. Going from middle school to high school was so much fun, but at the same time very scary. Going into a new school teaches you lessons and makes you stronger. I know that if I had done it any other way I would not be the same person that I am today.

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Having your license makes the biggest difference in my daily life.  I cannot begin to explain how much more convenient it is for me to be able to drive myself.  No more depending on mom and dad if they can take you and pick you up!  I am able to do go to so many  more things now that I am able to drive myself.  However, the thrill of it is often overpowerd by all the responsibilities of driving.  You have to have insurance, get gas, keep the car clean and maintained, get it serviced, and many others.  Also, while driving I feel so pressured to not mess up.  Driving is like a job. The last thing I want is to get in an accident or get a ticket. 

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I'm in the eleventh grade and i am a pretty competetive basketball player. I have begun to entertain the possiblity of playing at the collegiate level, but i'm a still not positive. I would love to be able to play at an excellent university that also had a top basketball program, but without being amazing in either of the two fields it might be hard to get accepted. I have good grades and i am good at basketball but it would be very difficult to get into a great school with a great basketball program. I've been under a lot of stress this year from coaches, conselors, and parents to make a choice, sort of "pick a road". I feel like i have to decide wheather i want to to go for academics or sports. I know i am not being forced to make this coice but its difficult to know which road to go down. I really hope that i might be able to make it with decent grades and decent athletic ability because of the comination of both. It has been difficult and it has started ever since i entered the 10th grade. Coaches have pressured me to pick my top ten colleges ever since i got in high school. They want me to play year round and never take a break, but i just can't keep up with my grades with all of the practices and college exposure tournaments. I know its good to starting thinking about your future when your young, but we still don't even know what we are passionate about! Its hard to make these important descions in the 10th grade!!

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