My World! | Let the Coach coach!

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Let the Coach coach!

Posted by: Whitney Hagan on June 21, 2007 at 9:12AM EST

Often parents become too involved in their kids athletics. Parents often get upset about their child's playing time -- especially at the highly competitive level or when the child is at the junior or senior level in high school or college. In my opinion, the best players should
play. Age or any other politics is irrelevant. Parents should stay out and let the coaches handle it. If a player truly believes that he or she should get more playing time or a starting position then that needs to be taken care of between the coach and the player. I don't think parents need to get involved at that stage. They are not at practice every day and they don't see everything that the other coaches and teammates see.

If the player asks the coach what they can do to improve or get more playing time and the coach replies with "nothing" or a statement explaining that they will never "move up", then you have a problem that calls for adults. The next step is to bring the parents AND the player in for a meeting with the coach. If the coach continues to be persistent and does not provide the player with any ways for improvement, then the family should go to the athletic director of the school. After that, the parents have done everything they can and should then step back and let the school handle the problem. Meanwhile, the athlete should do everything they can to get better and have a great attitude.

I know from personal experience that when you ask a coach "what do I need to do to get better?" they really appreciate it and respect you for it. Not very often does a coach reply "nothing". It is a great learning experience to be able to sit with your coach and get constructive criticism and ask for ways to improve. It will make you grow as a person and I believe it will only result in a happier relationship between coach, player, and parent.

(5) Comments

Posted by: Eric on June 26, 2007 12:54PM EST

I agree that the best players should play. The only exception is if one of the best players does not ever show up to practices. Then, that player should sit untill he or she has earned playing time by going to practices. I also agree that the parents should not get involved with problems and let the athlete gain his\her way into independence, unless the athlete is too young to do so.

Posted by: Jax on June 26, 2007 10:19AM EST

I agree that parents first need to let their child handle the situation. The coach will respect them much more if they handle their own problems. Sometimes the coach might not know that the complaint is an issue until the child brings it up.

I have a personal experience with competitive cheerleading. I remember that after a competition the coach would move around the girls in order to improve the routine so that the squad could get a better score at the next competition. There was one mom in particular who would come in and get mad at the coach if she took her daughter out of a tumbling pass or moved her further back in the formations. The mom didn't realize that the coach was trying to do what was best for the entire team. It wasn't anything personal, it was just what the mom and girl signed up for.

Posted by: Chandler DeWitt on June 26, 2007 9:38AM EST

I completely agree with what you are saying. Parents do not need to get involved. Their child should earn their playing time on their own. Parents can be blinded from what is right when it comes to their kids, because they only want what is best for them and want them to succeed.

Posted by: Ginger on June 25, 2007 11:16AM EST

As a parent, I know there are times when you want to go to bat for your child, and sometimes it is appropriate. But I believe the best support is to teach your child to stand up for himself -- not in an argumentative way, not in a "victim" way, but just assertively and respectfully. It can be hard for kids to speak up to adults, but it is a great learning experience.

Posted by: BethJ007 on June 21, 2007 10:12AM EST

I am not really an athlete, but my sister is really into volleyball. My dad is very involved with it but he is really careful about how he handles it. Instead of putting my sister under any pressure, he just lets her know of opportunities for her to do camps, clinics, etc. and she makes the final decision. She really appreciates that he cares but isn't pushy.