Today is the anniversary of the death of one of the most famous single moms-- Princess Diana.  Most people don't think of her in that context, and I haven't really before today, but a statement about her legacy brought it up.  She has many legacies, from her contribution to society in her charitable foundations, to the human face that she put on the royal family, and her sense of grace and style that she wore as a constantly harrassed public figure.  I think she would be glad that she is remembered for these things.  But I think she would be most proud of her living legacy, in her two sons, William and Harry. 

 

The decision to divorce is painful in any circumstance, but she had to bear this process in the public eye.  I wonder what people think behind my back, but she had to daily face the headlines of the whole ugly mess.  And she had to find a way to protect her sons from the worst of it-- my guess is that issue was always first in her mind.  She would be beyond proud to see the men that those boys have become, and the love that they still have for their mother.  Like every single mom, she probably wondered daily if she was getting it right in raising them.  I know Prince Charles stepped up to the plate after her death, and has been a good father.  So much of their mother's selflessness and humanity shows in their demeanor, though.  That is a legacy that I hope I can pass to my kids in some measure.

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This article from the New York Times came out a few weeks ago, but it has stuck in my mind.  "Passport Rules Snag Child Support Cash,"  Mostly I'm impressed that the government was clever enough to enact the passport rule in relation to the problem of collecting child support.  Of course it is shocking to me that people are this selfish, but then I shouldn't be surprised.  I'm just glad that there are some ways to catch up to people who think they are above the law.

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does anyone know a lawyer that will work with me on child custody,i am on disability so my funds are limited,please contact me asap

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I'm kind of having flashbacks to my younger days after just getting married-- and the question was "When are you going to have kids??" Except now that I am recently divorced, the question is "When are you going to start dating??"  Even my gynecologist wants to know!  It cracks me up, but I sure don't have an answer for it.  It seems like an alien concept-- I kind of like being by myself for now. Heck, when I was married I remember making the statement that I would never want to date again!   And I have plenty to keep me busy with two kids at different schools!  I think I'll wait.

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I know this blog is about  "parenting alone," but sometimes people who are divorced parent more "together" than when they were married. I find that my ex and I -- who continue to be friends and were intent on respecting each other -- talk frequently about goals and activities for our child that, as a mom, I would have decided upon without getting his input. Likewise, my ex is much more involved in our child's daily life, as he is with him alone every other weekend and one evening a week. Don't get me wrong -- sometimes it was easier and faster to just make a decision about after school activities or camps -- but dads have input, too. I know he enjoys his more involved role, and it has made him realize how much work it is to be a "Mom!" How many dads really get that? (Feel free to comment!) Of course, he gets the benefit of having a son who loves and connects with him, and funny enough, while my son loves me, I think he gets a totally different experience with his dad -- one that's probably a little more laid back and certainly more "guy-ish" and often it's his dad that my son misses. It doesn't hurt my feelings (much :) because the truth is, my son needs his dad, and having a strong relationship there can only help him in life.  And if I have an issue with my son, and need another perspective, it's nice to know my ex can provide it, and he always helps our son see my perspective, too. In that way he is extremely supportive. It is a stronger family now, divorce and all, but I honestly rarely feel as if I am "parenting alone."

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