I have a friend whose beautiful, talented, smart 16-year old daughter was just been discharged  from 6 months of rehab for an eating disorder.  Wow!  This is so sad to me but so real and, though she has been discharged it will be a part of their lives for a while.  We all have a body image but do we realize as parents that what we say about our bodies directly effects what our children think about their own bodies?  As I was searching this topic on the Connect with Kids website I found quite a few good articles that you should read whether you have boys or girls.

http://www.connectwithkids.com/tipsheet/2000/40_mar29/boyimage.html

http://www.connectwithkids.com/tipsheet/2006/285_jun14/thisweek/060614_dad.shtml

http://www.connectwithkids.com/tipsheet/2003/138_aug20/image.html

Do you have a story to share that may help someone who is struggling with and eating disorder?

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I don't think that on my own I would be a huge fan of most of the reality TV shows, but I have found that it is a great way to connect with my tweens.  Mostly my daughter, but I think my son gets a kick out of making fun of us watching Dancing with the Stars, America's Next Top Model or the Amazing Race!  That creates some kind of connection I suppose!

Even though tv edits for entertainment, on these shows you still get to see that these people are human and they make mistakes, that being critiqued is a real part of life, that sometimes you get lucky breaks but you still better work hard to achieve your goals.  These are conversation starters at least! 

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My niece -- and my sister too, for that matter -- is absolutely crushed because she was cut this week from the JV volleyball team. She is a very bright and socialable young girl who loves to participate and be part of a team. She attends a small, academically-rigorous school and excels in the classroom. Her athletic abilities aren't the greatest, but she has heart and tries really hard. She will try any and everything. More importantly, she truly doesn't want to be one of those students who is uninvolved at school.

This has been especially hard on my sister -- you see, we come from a family that always excelled in sports. My sister really hasn't been in this "place" before and isn't sure how to handle it. She is heartbroken because her daughter is so hurt. (I'm hurt for both of them too!) My niece hasn't decided if she'll never pick up a volleyball again or if she wants to work really hard over the next year and try again.

They've tried almost every sport and volleyball was the one thing she could do reasonably well. Her school is small, so there aren't dozens of teams to try out for.

So, how do you handle this situation? You've got a daughter who wants to be involved but she doesn't have the abilities to do so? How do you, also, ease the hurt of this life lesson?

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I NEED HELP WITH MY 6TH GRADE DAUGHTER.  SHE IS A PRETTY, TALL, SMART YOUNG LADY HOWEVER SHE DOES NOT SEEM TO FIT IN WITH HER CLASSMATES.  EVERYDAY IT IS SOMETHING - MY NERVES ARE SHOT!  SHE HAS A FEW FRIENDS AND THEY CALL THEMSELVES "FREAKS".  SHE SAYS THE OTHER GIRLS ARE "PRISSY GIRLS" .   I AM VERY OUTGOING - SHE IS NOT - SHE IS VERY POLITE TO OTHERS - BUT DOES NOT SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO START A CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS - SHE SAYS THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO...  SHE DOES NOT LIKE SPORTS, ONLY COMPUTER OR TECHNICAL THINGS.  SHE DOES NOT WORRY ABOUT HER HAIR & APPEARANCE - SHE IS NEAT, THOUGH.  TODAY, ANOTHER GIRL WAS HITTING HER WITH A BOOK - AND OTHERS WERE LAUGHING - THE TEACHER DID NOT DO ANYTHING!  I HAVE SPOKE TO THE COUNSELOR AND PRINCIPAL AND HER NOT FITTING IN...  I DO NOT KNOW IF MOVING HER TO ANOTHER SCHOOL WOULD EVEN HELP.  SHE GOES TO A CATHOLIC SCHOOL NOW AND HAS BEEN WITH THE SAME GIRLS AND BOYS SINCE PRE-K.  

 

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I need some advice on how to create a balance between being a good mom to my son and being a good daughter to my aging parents.  They are taking up more and more of my time (and energy) due to illness and I feel as though I'm pushing my son aside.  How are others coping with this added stress?

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I recently pulled my daughter out of school because I felt she was being distracted by her friends. She is doing very well academically and seems so much happier now that she's not dealing with the peer presure. However, she is also really looking forward to making a fresh start in middle school. I've been trying to introduce her to other girls her age who are also high achievers but she keeps asking to spend time with her old friends. While she's at home I can control who she sees, but next year she will be back at school with some of the same kids that I feel are partly responsible for her getting off-track. How can I get her to see that these kids don't have her best interest at heart. I'm afraid she is going to really get burnt!

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