I have recently been struggling with my 13 year old son and his lack of interest in his schoolwork. We just received his progress report and learned that while he has a couple of A’s and the rest B+’s and B’s, a common theme rang true among all of his teachers’ comments. In almost every subject, the teachers said that he was respectful, polite and attentive in class (I am thankful for this). However, most said that if he gave more effort in his assignments and got all of his work turned in on time, he would definitely have A’s and more importantly, is fully capable of A’s.

Now, here’s the kicker, we’ve told our son that if he is working hard and giving his all to his work then we are happy with whatever grade he gets. I don’t believe that every child is an A student and obviously some of the smartest, most successful people in the world were C students. In discussing the subject with our son, he has thrown back at us that we said B’s were fine. But, we know that he is putting forth a minimal amount of time to just “get by” and is capable making A’s.

Is it something about boys and this age that makes them not really care about grades or truly putting forth their best effort? We know he can be passionate about things, as we have seen him spend hours researching a lacrosse stick or frog habitat—why can’t he be this way about his schoolwork? Should we continue to let him do the minimum and be happy with the B’s or push him to work harder and achieve the A’s? How do you motivate a child who doesn’t really care about the cause and affect of good grades versus average grades? I need help—any ideas?