unusual interest in sex? My 11yo daughter is looking at porn
Posted by:
Brooklyntweenmom on
January 11, 2008 at
8:32AM EST
I am the single mother of an 11yo 6th grader (her father is actively involved in her life). She just started Junior high in September. One month ago, she secretly ordered the Playboy channel about 8 times. I didnt know until I saw the bill. We never had cable before, I just gave in and got it about a month previous to this incident. I had an extensive sex talk with her and punished her for the lying about the incident. I thought it was curiousity and thought it was an isolated incident. Now, this week I go on the computer and there are all these porn pop-ups and I cant get rid of them. After an intense grilling and searching the history on the computer, it was my daughter searching for vulgar sex terms on the web. I am at my wits end. I am very scared and concerned for my daughter, I have been in tears every night just thinking about it. Does she need to see a psychiatrist?? Is this normal behavior for such a young child? Of note, she was a very early bloomer and has had her menses for 2 years already. I dont want to overanalyze but I have been researching this extensively since the first incident and I keep getting things from the mundane( normal tween behavior) to the extreme(sexual molestation/traumatic event). I really would like to hear other parents persepctive and experiences and advice.
(5) Comments
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Posted by: Chayo on January 20, 2008 4:51PM EST
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You have parental controls on both of the computer and the tv its pass word activated and will help with to limit access pretty much down to none. if she has access to your pass words it will not work. on the computer look in the control panel it is in user accounts or administrative tools choose the age range just remember if you play mature game on this computer they will not play with anything less than a mature setting. make sure the computer is in an area that you can frequently see and monitor. I had this same trouble with my boys and it got them in trouble because I was not as dilagant as you are. Good luck hope this helps.
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Kids today are very conscience about sex at much younger ages. I'm glad your concerned and I would get counseling for you, as to how to handle this and for her. It couldn't hurt and would give you some confidence in what to do.
I spoken about my just turned 13 year old grandson here and they are trying to be active and continually need monitoring. You are doing terrific not burying your head in the sand, but instead facing this head on. At all cost, as you discuss this remind your child how much you love and care about their future. Let them know you will do whatever it takes to make this right.
Good luck, and you have my prayers.
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
http://grammology.com
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Posted by: sj on January 14, 2008 12:06PM EST
Keep talking to her about why these images are bad--try not to preach, but just talk. Talk to her about relationships, love and responsibility. If her father is willing, have him talk to her about why the images are unhealthy-- it's very powerful coming from a male figure that loves her and wants the best for her. Make sure that both of your houses have access blocked to this stuff on computers and tv's. Hang in there and let me know how it goes.
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This might help: http://www.wearyparent.com/lets-talk-about-sex-baby/
Charlene, an active blogger and middle school mom has seen a lot. I refer my readers to her writing often. She had a great post this morning that connects with your concern. More great reading about middle school here (www.thinking-forward.com) as well.
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