I am the single mom of a 13 year old daughter. I became a parent at a young age...... I think this has helped me to NOT be one of those mom's who says, "Not my daughter." Anyhow, recently I allowed her to have a "myspace" account (with some very strict rules). However, as I started looking at her myspace and those of her friends..... I realized I have a problem. She has grown into her sexuality. It is obvious from the pictures that she is feeling sexy and she is liking the attention she gets. There are some pictures that are questionable. She swears that they are "just pictures" and don't mean a thing. BUT... I have a gut feeling she knows that the boys her age are "liking" the pics... if you know what I mean.

I am so afraid that as she comes into her "sexuality" that she will begin to experiment. I just found out she kissed a highschool senior at a party two weeks ago. She doesn't even know this boy.

My question is..... how do you know when its time to pull the reigns in or let them "grow up"? I don't want to over react but I also don't want to stick my head in the sand.

I'm only 18 so I really have no idea about raising a child. However I know a lot about being one in the competitive world today. I actually happened upon this site [see the CWK weekly story, Parents Use Drugs to Improve Their Kids’ Grades] looking for a remedy or pill to help me concentrate for my upcoming SAT this weekend. I've been studying for two weeks straight but today I took a practice test and did poorly. I can't remember formulas and I have trouble focusing on the questions and equations. Tests like these determine whether kids today make it into the colleges we seek. If I make it or break it Saturday determines pretty much the rest of my life. If I can't make it into a college I'll never become a Psychologist and I'll never have that "best time of my life" college experience. Some people need Adderall and such on a daily bases while other people do not. However I personally don't see what’s wrong with taking it on occasion to help study and test as long as it is rarely and not over abused.

Amber

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but when I think back it seems it was in the middle of 7^th grade. My chatty little boy turned on me, and decided he would rather talk to his friends than me. The nerve!

That was 2 years ago, but still I sit around waiting for any little scrap of information he wishes to throw my way. I know from talking with my friends that most teenagers do this to their parents eventually. I just didn’t think it would happen so fast. And certainly not to me.

My saving grace is his friends love me, and I am close with their parents also. We all seem to help each other out now in the quest for insight into the daily trials and tribulations of our teenage children.

I have found that when something interesting or funny at school happens (not necessarily to him) is when he comes home and tells us about it. I am always there to listen and ask questions, as many as I can get in before that wall comes up again. Then I do what I always do, ask his friends.

So I guess the million-dollar question is, how do you break down that wall?

From a mother in Stafford, Virginia:

Our son (15 at the time) and another friend nearly died a few weeks ago. They thought it would be fun to drink an entire bottle of vodka in 15 minutes. Neither had ever tried alcohol in the past (to the best of our knowledge). They were found on the side of a busy road unconscious and convulsing. After being taken by ambulance to Mary Washington Hospital they had to be flown by helicopter to INOVA Fairfax Hospital. My son’s core temp was only 86 degrees when he arrived at the ER. The other boy had to be placed on a respirator.

These are both good kids who are athletes and are very involved in volunteering and community service. The other kid's Father is a Minister and his parents don't drink at all. I don't drink because I have adverse reaction to the alcohol; my husband has an occasional beer or glass of wine. We constantly talk to our kids about not taking drugs, not smoking, eat healthy, etc. We neglected to warn them about the dangers of drinking. We nearly lost our kids over such stupidity. When our son regained consciousness, the first thing I asked him was "Were you trying to commit suicide?" He thought I was nuts, and told me they thought they would just try it and he was heading home to go to bed. They didn't think we would smell the vodka. He said it tasted bad but that he didn't feel anything until it was too late. Had he made it to bed, we would have found him dead in the morning.

The other boy didn't have access to any alcohol in his home. We had some Peppermint Schnapps left over from a Holiday party years ago, some beer, wine, but no vodka. Where did they get it? A friend of the other boy (20 year old volunteer firefighter trainee) got it for him. We returned from the hospital and promptly dumped every drop down the sink.

Both boys feel embarrassed and shamed over what they did. As the medical bills roll in (The helicopter ride alone was approx. $11,000.00), we show them the cost of their mistake and remind them that they almost paid with their lives. Our lives would never be the same without them and I am still scared to let my son out of my sight.

There’s a funny thing about television advertising these days... it’s kind of like a quick medical education. The latest television ads have encouraged me to think about one less -- one less case of cervical cancer.

There's a new vaccine that protects against HPV, the human papilloma virus, which causes a high percentage of cervical cancer cases. And how do people get HPV? Through sexual activity that involves genital contact. The vaccine is recommended for our daughters, between the ages of 9 and 26, and requires three injections over six months.

When the Holidays End, Let the Organizing Begin

I read an article a few days ago about a high school boy whose life actually improved when he got organized. His fed-up parents hired one of those closet/ life-organizing coaches to help him get his act – and his room – together.

I have always been the mom who tries to pick my battles, but I’m not throwing in (or tossing on the bathroom floor) the towel when it comes to demanding my teens make their bed and put their stuff -- and there’s lots of it -- away.

I really believe in the value of being organized. It just takes up too much time trying to find papers, keys, applications and assignments when it’s all over the place. And the benefits just might translate into more time for study – and fun -- better grades, getting to school and practices on time, and meeting everyone’s deadlines.

Yes, when it comes to parenting teens, we all have to pick our battles. And I pick the battle to get my teens organized, according to my standards. Wish me luck.