I had plans to meet my 18 year old grand daughter today at the mall with her friend.  We were suppose to meet at 3 pm..  I had taken off work early, it was a big to do today, as I was busy.  I started calling her over an hour before our meeting.  She didn't make the mall, and when I finally reached her at 3:15 she wanted me to wait for her to arrive.  (She was home and had fallen asleep and not woke up)  When my daughter got home she woke her up however, it was too late..

My first inclination was to say okay, I'll wait the 40 minutes it takes for her to drive in from her home...  then I realized it wasn't in her best interest.  Although she never missed a time before, it was very hard to get her into school for her senior year, and she ended up having to go to summer school to graduate.

My response, we'll reschedule, and I won't leave my work or home until you call me and tell me your on your way.

When we get together, Saturday...our next date...I'm ready to discuss responsibility and what it takes to be on time.  Mary is very easy going, and is a follower rather than a leader.  She's kind and easy to get along with however, she is not prepared to be on time, and keep a schedule in order to be successful.  She wants to be able to go on to college and doesn't have a clue how to  get going.  My daughter tells me until she's ready to make the commitment, she thinks  it's up to Mary to come to her and say  mom I want to do this will you help?

Do you agree that Mary has to want to do this, and my daughter should wait?..Even if it means, she take a job for now...and probably get fired, as she won't be on time.  This is really frustrating as unless I'm 15 minutes early, I think I'm late...go figure....

Dorothy from grammology
http://grammology.com

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You Won’t Be The Best At Everything

August 21st, 2007

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I am not sure what to say anymore , i just feel absolutely repulsed by my teenager. he has just gotten under my skin sooo badly i feel like i am going to lose my mind. I used to feel guilty feeling this way , but my teen seems to just want to give me grief no matter what i do for him, so i dont really feel guitly anymore, maybe just sad.

my teenager has just chosen to be someone who not social , very negative and pessamistic  . he enjoys and I mean it , enjoys getting under my skin . also , he likes to pick on the toddler especially if he is mad at me . this isnt a teenage thing anymore, this is his personality .

i can honestly say I pray for the day when he moves out ! i cant stand him . i feel like crying everyday . mind you there are some "good" days but lately i just feel like those good days are an act to keep me at bay .

i dont think my marriage is going to survive this. not at all . my husband is so burnt out and is on anti depressants to keep his stress and anger at bay . but how long will that be right.  my husband is just blah now , doesnt really help me emotionally , i think he feels that if he gives me money and is there sitting on the couch he is doing enough .

my teenager is abusing my mind ! i feel so shaky , i feel alot of anxiety . I am a naturally happy and positive person i feel like my teen is totally trying to kill that part of me . I just dont know how to handle this anymore. what is worse is that i feel like my teen is trying to destroy my toddlers life too out of jealousy . he likes to bully my toddler makes my teen feel macho I guess.

I have tried to spend time with my teen alone , take him out , talk to him alot , buy him things , not buy him things .... I am just so burnt out already . i cant talk to my husband about it anymore cause he just wont listen . like he is so tired of hearing about it .. that is why i dont think we will last.

I was a teen once , but i can say and swear to it , i never acted this way with my mom , i had normal teenage problems , staying out too late or hanging around friends my mom didnt like , but i never lingered around trying to find ways to wreck my moms day . i want him out . maybe it is my anger talking right now but i am having a really hard time right now .. can you tell ? sorry .  I just had to vent .

 

 

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My daughter is 15 years old and son is 18.  I divorced their father 8 years ago.  I choose to  let the children stay with their father because we were just buying a house  and I did not want them staying in the apartments we were in and he could provide for them better. Their father told them that I abandoned them which is not true but that is another story. I was just trying to do what was best for them. 

 I remarried and they can not stand my new husband because of the things he says and he can be just plain mean.   They do not come over  to my house much because of him so therefore I do not see them as much as I'd like to.  Due to their age the visitation schedule is out the window, regular  stopped a few years ago.    

My situation is that they are growing up so fast and I feel I have lost the mother/daughter bond me and Niki should have.  I don't know how to connect to her.  I know she loves me but I want more.  I read on her myspace that her father is her Hero and I am glad that he is but no mention of me.  That breaks my heart.   I want to try to reconnect with her and my other children at a deeper level.  She is sooo busy with her friends , school and other activities I can not get much time with her.

I also want to reconnect with my 18 year old son but he only comes over to see me when he can bring his girl friend over with him there fore no quality time with him either.  He is in school and band so he is very busy also.     

Is this a normal relationship between a mom and teenagers?  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to reconnect with them?

I have thought about setting up "dates" with them individually.  I just don't have the money to do the things they want to do like shopping, movies etc...

Thanks for any suggestions.  

     

 

   

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Today, I've noticed kids can suffer from depression.  It sounds crazy and probably the symptoms can be taken for a discipline problem, rather than the kids just plain not liking themselves and lashing out at anything in their paths. 
They often face not liking who they are, and don't feel they fit with their peers.  In addition, if they encounter bullies, it can be devastating.
All teens want, is to feel accepted, and in the crowd.  Today that can be an impossible.
There are more clicks today, and bullies, then we ever thought could exist.
 Teens in general seem to have no problem teasing.  This can become your child's worst nightmare.  If they don't discuss the problem, they can be embarrassed or feeling as though it's their fault, then they deal alone.  They are not willing to share the burden and depression just gets more complicated.
Talk to your teens and ask them how they feel.  Ask them if they understand depression and what it means?  There is not shame, in depression.  It can also be chemical.  As with drugs, drinking, and sex, it's our jobs to talk to our kids, and get them to talk back.  Then decide if it's your doctor or a counselor you will seek help from.  Don't ignore it, depression usually doesn't go away, it can get worse. 

Regards, Dorothy from grammology
http://grammology.com

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I just don't get it.  What is it about football and boys?  I like a good college game and even enjoy attending the varsity games at the school my son attends. But practicing now in this heat???  I think it's crazy! 

My 13 yr old son starts football practice today, two weeks before school starts.  No, he's not on the varsity team, rather the 8th grade team!  The varsity team's been at it for weeks now!  I cannot imagine it as the temperatures here have been hovering around 100 for 5 days now! 

I worry...do they drink enough water, take enough breaks, and do the boys feel comfortable admitting to the coach that they might not feel well.  Or is that a sign of weakness?  At my son's school it's a real social thing...a great way for the boys to bond! 

All I know is my car is nasty after bringing them home and  my  washing machine is spinning non-stop!  Any other moms out there dealing with this sport which is supposed to turn our boys into men? 

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My 15 year old boy is driving us crazy too.   He ran off yesterday to a friends house and hasn't come back.   Do we go after him or wait until he returns.   His problem is that he is spoiled and has always gotten his way, he thinks he can drop out of school and work at Subway?  

Help

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Okay - my daugher just got her permit and she is scarey!  Does anyone out there have any tips on how to get through this?  I try to warn her while she is driving and she just gets mad at me - so I try not to say anything, unless she is going to crash and kill us all!

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