I heard the news last evening of the tragic fire at a beach house on the coast of North Carolina, killing 7 college students. I cannot imagine what their families are going through. These students were only in their later teens and early 20s….so young… so sad.

As a mom of 3 under the age of 13, I worry about various things happening to my children….is that a pimple or MRSA, what if my son gets hit by a car while riding his bike to school, what if he gets hit with a baseball in the chest at the precise moment between heart beats which can send him into cardiac arrest…..and on and on! I know these things are rare but I cannot help myself from worrying. And believe it or not, I think I am one of the more laid back parents I know!!

However, we have to let our kids go….teach them what we can when they are with us and then let them fly….you know, give them roots and wings. This horrid house fire is just a reminder of what we cannot protect them from. It could have happened to anyone and unfortunately it happened to them. I pray for the families of those young adults.

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My family has just returned from a fantastic weekend with my parents, 3 siblings, their spouses and all my nieces. We were together in the home I grew up in for my mom’s 70^th birthday party. We had a big party for about 50 people, but the best part of the weekend was us, just being together.

My mom and dad have 11 grandchildren between the ages of 14 and 8! All but two are girls and they all had such fun together, even my two sons!! It is wonderful seeing the next generation get along together so well. It makes me realize that we learn about parenting from our parents, mostly what to do, but a little of what not to do also! I suspect our kids’ll be the same…not wanting to repeat the mistakes we make as parents, but also emulating what we are doing right.

Before the party I went through lots of old family pictures, some of my mom when she was a baby! I had them scanned onto a CD and made a copy for my parents and siblings. My 13 year old son was able to help his technologically challenged mom by making the CD into a slide show with captions and music. It was a great tribute to her and a good chance to collaborate with him!!

The weekend was too short, but will provide us with lots of laughs and memories as we look back on it over the days, months and years to come. As I get older I appreciate my family more and more. I am so blessed to have them in my life.

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High school seniors who want to go to a selective college in the fall of 2008 should already be making arrangements to take the tests they will need before they apply ahead of the deadlines for such schools, which are usually in January or February. One of the consequences of taking these tests is that, if you do well, you may be deluged with literature from colleges and universities all across the country. Students, who had gathered to listen to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad speak on an outdoor screen, cheer a speech made by Columbia University President Lee C. Bollinger in New York September 24, 2007. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson (UNITED STATES) Related Media: VIDEO: UT Trying to Protest Students from Online Harassment VIDEO: Some Students in Financial Debt Before Graduating from College VIDEO: Howard Grad Student Quinn Conyers Shares Secrets of Success Some students may feel flattered that Harvard, Yale or M.I.T. seems to be dying to have them apply. But the brutal reality is that the reason for wanting so many youngsters to apply is so that they can be rejected. Why? Because the prestige ranking of a college or university as a "selective" institution is measured by how small a percentage of its applicants are accepted. So they have to get thousands of young people to apply, so that they can be rejected. While we are on the subject of reality and prestige, one of the tragic misconceptions of many students and their parents is that you have to go to a prestigious, big-name academic institution to really get ahead and reach the top. Some students get sunk deep into depression when they are notified in April that they have been rejected by some Ivy League school that they had their heart set on. When they are accepted, some parents go deep into debt to finance the education of their offspring at the college of their dreams. Seldom is either reaction warranted. Stop and think: What is an academic institution's prestige based on? Academic prestige is based mostly on the research achievements of the faculty. Places like Harvard or Stanford have many professors who are among the leading experts in their respective fields, including some who have won Nobel Prizes. Good for them. But is it good for you, if you are a student at Prestige U.? Big-name professors are unlikely to be teaching you freshman English or introductory math. Some may not be teaching you anything at all, unless and until you go on to postgraduate study. In other words, the people who generated the prestige which attracted you to the college may be seen walking about the campus but are less likely to be seen standing in front of your classroom when you begin your college education.

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I colleague of mine wrote a great blog about moving to the suburbs, and wanted some input. http://www.gnmparents.com/moving-on-up/

So, I wrote about my own experience, but we'd love to hear anyone else's!

We moved to the suburbs in 1992! I was such an intown girl that I joke about my then-new husband having to drag me, kicking and screaming, across the “perimeter” — the highway that circles the city and designates who’s geographically undesirable by the gracious terms of “I live inside the perimeter” or “I’m not driving to your house; you live outside the perimeter.” So after looking at more than 100 houses intown that were twice the price of a suburban home and less than half the square footage (and no closets, no basements, no backyard) my husband says, “Look honey, I used to live in the suburbs when I was a kid. Just come look at it.” Well, needless to say, he was absolutely right. Yard? Check. Lots of room? Check. Trees? Check. Affordable? More than intown! Basement, schools, sidewalks, parks — check, check, check, check. Unfortunately, all of my clients were inside the perimeter. So were most of my friends. I had a panic attack so bad the day we moved I had to sleep at a friend’s house while my husband helped the movers move. At the time, there weren’t very many people our age in our ‘hood and when I went to the mailbox I thought my neighbors would think I was somebody’s daughter. But then a strange thing happened … we started meeting our neighbors. Doing hings like progressive dinners, playing tennis, my musician husband started selling off old guitars and buying power tools. We realized that half of our newest neighbors were in-towners, too. Stepford wives? Are you kidding? They were lawyers, doctors, artists, philanthropists, writers, and yes, IBMers, Coca-Cola managers, realtors — every walk of life, faceted, interesting, just like in-towners! Well, duh, where do you think they used to live before children, taxes and pets? One of my neighbors said she finally stopped hyperventilating when she saw my husband out in the yard one day. There he was, 29 years old, hanging out with his guitar, his ponytail, his one earring and a jean jacket with no shirt on underneath. Oh, he was a beautiful intownish sight, alright. Everyone finally stopped cracking jokes about suburbia, housewives and commutes and started connecting. Now, I’m told this is a unique neighborhood, but I think it’s what you make of it. When someone is sick here, we all make dinners and take turns babysitting. When someone has died unexpectedly, we pull together and plant memorial gardens and help raise the children and spirits. We have Halloween parties, Santa visits, tennis tournaments, poker parties, pool parties — all because we want to know each other. I run a children’s talent show each year where the goal is to make every child feel like a super star. We raise each other’s kids, I swear. I have two soul sisters here who were worth moving to the ‘burbs for in and of themselves. Sometimes I drive back through my old ‘hood and yes, I miss the charm, the broken sidewalks, the fact that clover can grow in their front yards and I’m sure no one cares. But when my son has all his friends on the front lawn playing football or tag in the rain, I look out my window from my office upstairs and smile down upon them, and thank my husband for dragging me, kicking and screaming, across the perimeter.

And you know what? In a few years, your friends will probably be moving out, too. I know where we live now is practically considered "in town." So don't sweat it, just live it!  Love, love, love!

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My second youngest grandson William is going to his first school dance.  He's 12 and it's obvious he's interested in girls.  My daughter was excited to help him pick out what to wear and give him the rules for his behavior.  He was going with a friend who's parent would take them and bring them home.  Then he would spend the night at their home.  The parent has values and rules similar to my daughters so we hope everything will be alright.

We had two incidents this week where there was violence in the schools. (kids getting into fights)  so when you send your kids to after school activities today you not only worry about the girl things you have to worry about the bullies. 

Does anyone have any thoughts as to what you can say and do for your kids today?  Is there some rules or tips out there somewhere.  Sherry reads this and we both are somewhat nervous..the next aged child is 18 and things seemed to have changed since she was 12...

Please comment with tips if you know of anything we should be aware of..I'm sure this will help other parents and I think the patterns we establish now will be important for William throughout his schooling career..

Dorothy from grammology
call your grandma
http:grammology.com

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